The knot in my heart grew tighter. Those accursed deeds, those accursed confessions. Oh God, forgive me. Emotions are in themselves good or bad, normal or abnormal, right or wrong. It is the way we interpret them, legislate about them, control or abuse them that puts them into various categories. Perhaps there are not actually any quantitative differences among the various emotions. There are a number of typical features of emotional states which most thinkers agree are connected with emotion in one way or another. Consider the following case of marked fear. A man sees a funnel-shaped dark cloud approaching and realizes that is it a potentially destructive tornado. He feels frightened. Various bodily changes ensue, including increased strength and rate of heartbeat, paling, goose flesh, and dryness of the throat. These changes are reflected in his bodily sensations, which also include such things as a sinking sensation in the stomach and sporadic local chills. He has strong tendencies to run away and to protect his goods and loved one, tendencies which may or may not find expression, depending on circumstances. He finds it difficult to think about anything else or to concentrate on the work at hand. Physiological studies have revealed certain disturbances in normal bodily functions as regular features of emotional states. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10

Some of the changes may include increased adrenalin secretion, increased heartbeat, alteration of the distribution of blood to various parts of the body, changes in pattern of respiration, suspension of digestive activities, and increases in red corpuscles in the blood. It is these changes which are manifested in the involuntary overt expressions of emotions which have long been noted—paling, blushing, panting, trembling, and so on. And it is the sensation of these changes or some of their result which constitutes the felt disturbance or perturbation characteristic of emotion. Moreover, there is a more behavioral sense in which these states constitute disturbances; when sufficiently intense, they interfere with activities which require a high degree of coordination or control. Anger may become a strong emotion simply because it is so often suppressed or repressed, in much the same way that caging an animal often makes it more aggressive. Also, hidden feelings frequently loom larger, stronger, more powerful than easily expressed feelings simply because they are made special by being hidden. Human life is lived either minimally or maximally, depending upon what can be experienced. Merely responding to the inborn physiological drives, getting those needs satisfied, turning over and going to sleep, would be living minimally—just surviving. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10

However, we can approach a maximal experiencing of life by noting and knowing of what living consist. It consists, for one thing, of learning. We can experience the World inside us and outside, remember these experiences and anticipate them the next time around. Emotion is activity and reactivity of the tissues and organs innervated by the autonomic nervous system. Learning is simply the acquisition of behavior as a result of experience. This includes formal classroom-type learning as well as the learning from everyday involvement as a result of difficult or unpleasant experiences. One can be afraid or angry or annoyed or overjoyed without anyone else realizing it. Thus is seems that the emotion itself is something inner which may or may not issue an overt behavior. It seems to be an inner mental rather than an inner bodily state, since it is the sort of thing of which one can have the same kind of immediate infallible knowledge one has of one’s sensations and thoughts, a kind of knowledge open to no one else. If I am angry at someone, then, I but no one else, know that I am angry just by virtue of my being angry; nothing further is required. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10

Thus an emotion has to be identified with something of which such knowledge is possible, and this is restricted to states of consciousness. That state of consciousness in question is a feeling is suggested by the fact that there is no important difference between feeling angry and being angry, between feeling annoyed and being annoyed. One can inhibit all overt manifestations of an emotional state—if one is sufficiently motivated to make the necessary effort and has a high degree of self-control and if the emotion is not too strong—there will still be the tendencies to those manifestations. There are other ways of informal learning, which can be pleasant. One can learn what beauty is, for instance, by observing a Sunset or the Earth viewed from a Moon module, by hearing the music of Aaliyah or some other artist they cherish or other pleasant sounds. In addition to learning, we can experience life fully though the development of our mind by reasoning and imagining, either associative thinking or free-play thinking like brainstorming or random ideation. Fantasy, curiosity, exploration, manipulation or of the environment, trial-and-error problem-solving, getting lost or deeply involved in a story, film, play, conversation, or intimate relationship are all within the range of opportunities presented to us by everyday life for utilizing our physical selves and enriching the experience of being alive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10

We are advocating here the cultivation of a full, rich, free, yet responsible, emotional life. “And you shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures: and shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. And I, the Lord give unto them a promise, that the destroying Angel shall pass them by,” reports Doctrine and Covenants 89.19-21. A person can be rich in economic terms and yet be improvised emotionally. In addition to a monetary bank account, we also have an emotional bank account, storehouse for feelings, or affective responses, that is available to us over the long haul of our lifetime. We are born only with the bank, the nervous system and brain: we have to make deposits into it in order to have emotional responses to spend or invest. Think about from what, or whom, or where do these deposits in our bank, which is the nervous system and the brain come? Our earliest emotions, excitement and quiescence, gradually develop or change into other emotions, like distress, delight, anger, joy, fear, anxiety, affection, as we encounter aspects of the World about us. Do you feel balanced? Check the time and energy you put toward family, self, service, and work. When one area robs time and energy from the others, we start to lose sleep, energy, and focus. This means it is time to hit the reset button and reclaim balance before stress leads to anxiety and we will find ourselves unable to be productive. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10

We cannot always observe emotions in a newborn infant (which does not mean they are not there!). When the baby experiences the pain of hunger or the discomfort of a wet diaper, he or she lets out a signal in the form of a little cry. The crying is probably just an innate response to internal physiological discomfort or to external pain and does not represent a true emotion. The one response we call emotion with any degree of surety is a general excitement, which is the only apparent change from the infant’s ordinary, general quiescence. However, sometime during the first four to six weeks after birth, this diffuse excitement, even though it continues, takes on a different form, which we have come to call distress and to observe as tensed breathing and muscular tension that may or may not be accompanied by the crying response that was present at birth. Another change occurs when something is done to remedy the conditions that produce the distress. When food satisfies the hunger or when the diaper is changed, for instance, we notice the emotional response we have come to call delight, characterized by muscular relaxation, smiling, gurgling, or cooing. Thus, two emotional experiences have been deposited into the child’s emotional bank account. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10

In the normal, healthy and happy person, these early emotions (excitement, distress, delight) continue to be present, even though others have been added along the way. As we grow we discover new ways of feeling, all made possible by the development of the inborn nervous system and by other emotions previously learned. Fear, for instance, is experienced quite early. Some researcher indicate proof that some fears are inborn, particularly of falling and sudden or startling sounds. However, we do know and can demonstrate that fears are experiences by six months in the average child. Fear has a definite survival value: it provides a response that motivates us, because of the endocrine gland hormone called epinephrine (adrenalin), to move away from a situation we perceive to be threatening or dangerous. Anger, another very human emotion, serves to energize or motivate us to attack or act against some limiting situation. This conceptualization is based on Dollard and Miller’s Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis, a theory which, briefly, assumes that one of the commonest responses to frustration is a desire or inclination to attack or somehow move against the frustrating situation. Often we do not act upon the desire, of course. We find a bully—inches and pounds bigger!—blocking the sidewalk as we walk to school. Our desire may be to push past him, but our fear of being rude or our reasoning that we could not do it is usually strong enough to hold in that aggressive action and attempt other ways of so living the problem. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10

There are, however, times when we do move directly against the source of frustration, like when we move a shopping cart out of our path and return it to the receptacle in the parking lot of the store, gentle move a branch out of the way on the sidewalk, or assume it to be sage enough to suggest the bully blocking the sidewalk move out of your way. If we can experience anger and accept it as a feeling we have as much right to have as any other, then we can find ourselves enjoying the aliveness of emotionality. Anger can be enjoyable, especially when it is not expressed in a way that might produce guilt as an aftermath. There is a genuinely life-affirming experience to be had when you are in the midst of strong emotions. For all too many people, unexplored emotions block the way to vulnerability, empathy, and relational closeness, existing as a barrier or layer that must be illuminated and passed through before such capacities can be significantly accessed. As such, some emotions cause fear, but this does not mean that we ought to stay away from them. It may be massive, it may make us cringe, it may redden our face with its far-from-friendly gaze, it may seem to dwarf us, but that is just it front, as the warrior in us knows. Taking charge of your emotions deepens your integrity, making you more trustworthy, more capable of being more in tune with who we are. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10

 One man, experiencing his emotions openly and accepting for the first time in many years, expressed in this way: “Before, when I was holding back, I often had the feeling I was a zombie, you know, a walking corpse. However, now, when I am good and mad, my brain’s alive, my heart is pumpin’ away, I can feel the blood zippin’ through my body, and you know, I am really alive!! I can feel it!” This is not an unusual reaction in those who discover what experiencing with their own emotional range is really like. As the television commercial says, they “Come alive!” In terms of the bank account analogy, it is like discovering you forgot to record deposit and have more money than your balance shows. The person who is aware of the wealth of emotions one has at one’s disposal is one who feels capable of entering into a variety of experiences in life. One is also an infinitely more interesting person to be with, because one’s reactions spring from a wide repertory of emotional responses at their disposal! They are the ones we call cold, because you tell them you got an “A” on a midterm you expected to just pass and they can only say: “Okay.” You tell them your mother passed away in an accident coming to meet you in Aspen, Colorado USA to take you home, and it is the anniversary, and they possibly can muster a “Gee, that’s rough,” or even a lump in the throat. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10

You tell people who are considered cold you love them and they are the greatest people in the World, and they simple or maybe blush. They are unable to experience or express emotions on any but the most superficial levels. There are all kinds of reasons for the inability to express deep or strong feelings, or to have a wide repertory of feelings. Emotional poverty is generally a product of learning, not inborn shyness or shallowness. It can be unlearned and a more effective emotional life learned. It is never too late to add to that emotional account and experience a richer, fuller, ore interesting, more rewarding emotional life. You would think you were Lazarus resizing from the bed. Our Heavenly Father is near us and watches over us day and night. Think of it! God loves us, he is near to us, and he watches over us. God delights to bless us as we strive to do what is right. What comfort in the midst of our stresses and difficulties!  So take the time to check your mental health. Understand your emotions. Pray for guidance as you do so. We are here to learn and grow, and sometimes that is difficult. However, if we spiritually prepare ourselves for the journey, we can also be at peace with the process. “When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice,” reports Proverbs 29.2. The spirit of God adores you, and will come in pilgrimage to you. Bind the Spirit of God to yourself and you will be filled with grace, it will be perfected in you. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10