The sins of my past rose up to taught me. All my own excesses mocked me. I thought it was nothing short of magnificent. When we got to my house I gave two hundred dollars to my two mortal guards who were happily astonished. When we reached the courtyard garden, and just when I was about to exclaim about the ancient cherub fountain and all the tropical wonders blooming against my cherished stucco walls, I stopped to ponder what loyalty is. Loyalty is not just an act, it is also an attitude. To be loyal to someone, we have to embrace affection or sentiment towards such persons. Loyalty requires the complete subordination of one’s own private interest in favor of giving what is due, and perhaps also the exclusions of other legitimate interests. In this sense, loyalty may often be one-sided, although it need not be. If we could not count on the loyalty of others or give them our loyalty, social life would be not only bleak but also impossible. The back parlor of my house had been cleaned and dusted earlier this very day and I could smell the cleaning lady’s distant perfume. Of course I had never laid eyes on the woman. She came by the light of the Sun, but she did her job well enough for me to leave her big bills. I loved giving away money. I carried it for no other purpose. I slapped a hundred on the desk for her. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7

We have desks everywhere in this house, I thought. Too many desks. Did not every bedroom have a little desk? Why so many? I made my usual beeline for the front parlor, peeking into each and every bedroom on the way, as though I really needed to, in order to know that no one was home. The place had too much furniture. Not enough paintings. Too many books. What the hallway needed was Emile Nolde. How could I get my hands on the German Expressionists? The Prophet, 1912 is one of the finest examples of woodcut. There is a great contrast between light and dark, and as a result, dramatic emotional effects. We do not merely sense the pain and anguish of the prophet’s life, the burden that prophecy entails, but we feel the portrait emerging out of the very gouges of Emily Nolde’s knife made in the block. Ava, with her own genius, recently made a copy of the Prophet, using her own face and gold and black, which represents prosperity and nobility. I thought it was very sophisticated. That young lady really has a lot of talent. I value such human qualities as sincerity, courage, cheerfulness, and kindness. Human nature has all sort of lessons driven into it by the pressure of events and reasoning afterwards redefines them and adds new inventions, quickly or slowly. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

Front parlor. Piano. Here was no piano now. I should tell them to get a piano. Had we not passed an antique piano in a window? I had a sudden urge to play the piano—to use my gift to rip at the keys. It was that Bela Bartok concerto still assaulting my mind, and the picture of those two macabre dancers accentuating the music. An essential step in the development of society is the growth of natural justice, which is a bargain for mutual profit not to hurt or be hurt. Natural justice is followed by the characteristic comment that not everybody keeps this bargain, but unless a substantial number do, the human race would have been wiped out. Thus the fact that humankind has survived at all is adduced as a proof that there must have been such a compact. However, it also serves to explain the occurrence of such a compact along Darwinian lines, as an example of survival of the fittest; communities that failed to achieve it must have perished like those ill-equipped forms of life, trapped in the toils of their own destiny, which nature had debarred from increase. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

The social contract is the basis of social cooperation, not in calculated self-interest, but in a natural instinct that impales the strong to have empathy for the less able. The Universe is great; yet it has its limitation, but what is more perfect than a Universe that is rational? Rationality in the Universe is so evident that it is never concealed. The greatness of the Universe is based on the foundation of the existence of rationality which is an order publicly followed and without partiality. We should partake worthily of the sacrament each week and fill our lives with virtuous activities that will bring us spiritual power. As we do this, we will grow stronger in our ability to resist temptation, keep the commandments and be more Godlike. The justice of God is identical with his grace: it is not conditional upon human merit, but is received by faith alone (faith itself being a work of God in humans). God offers humans his justice and creates the response of faith. The security of humans before God rests solely in the Gospel, with its word of forgiveness. From a religious, psychological, and practical standpoint, it stands to reason that we have a vested interest in changing our attitudes, even if evil seems too powerful to oppose. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

Before we can hope to conquer the evil that is out there, we must face the part of us that gives in to these vices, that allows us to lose hope in the face of negativity, that is still the conscienceless, selfish being some have evolved into since birth. Typically, those of us afraid of the evil within project those traits onto others in the World. Projection is the easiest way to avoid dealing with our own darker traits, impulses, and actions. Projection is purely a person blaming others for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults they are actually responsible for. Spiritual growth requires the acknowledgement of one’s own imperfection. The destructive power of evil is the inability to admit personal sinfulness, and the corresponding tendency to see others as bad. Fortunately, inner exploration means more than facing personal weakness. Looking closely at oneself also allows for rediscovery of spiritual strengths. Each action we take and each thought we think is a choice between good and evil. Keep in mind that illusions do hurt us twice. They hurt us when they cause us to take action whose logic is based in false ideals; we then suffer the consequences of our bad decisions. Arguably, they hurt us more the second time around, when we have to face the pain of losing the (ineffective and untrue) principles that have guided us. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

Fortunately, through redemptive suffering, we can survive the loss of these illusions, discover important truths, even spiritual growth. Even one episode of deep suffering can destroy our damaging illusions. The deeper the pain, the greater the potential for growth. We can make good use of our heartache, allowing it to dispel a debilitating belief system. Changing the ways we view suffering and learning to put its lessons to good use are two of the best ways to get the most out of our adventure in life. I grew up believing in God, Heaven, and Hell, and the power of the Devil. I was sure that is I followed the Ten Commandments, I would go to Heaven. After all, good boys get Christmas presents, do they not? By the time I was a teenager, my life grew more complicated and confusing. I had these wild dreams about running away and eloping with Paris Hilton. I even convinced myself that if I got a job and a luxury German car and a big house that my dreams would come true. By reminding oneself of the truths we are suffering and what it has revealed, we can empty ourselves of the disillusionment that weighs us down and fill ourselves instead with the wonderful experiences and insights life has to offer. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

Sometimes our dreams and illusions are the catalysts that push us to reaching high goals. Paris Hilton is out of the league of most men, but there are other beautiful people we can enjoy. Maybe, if you are like me, and dreamed of someone like Paris Hilton, when you meet your true love you will cherish that person as much as you would a mega star. As natural as it may seem to turn away from or distract oneself from our pain, we might want to consider practicing facing it, daily. When pain arises, it is a good idea to acknowledge this as soon as possible, and then direct our undivided attention toward it, taking care not to turn it into suffering (meaning the over-dramatization of pain). As we become a student of emotions, casting both a finely focused and panoramic eye on them, and get to know them intimately. The more deeply and skillfully we can relate to our emotions, the more we will be able to do so in actual relationship. Human beings resist change, even in a beneficial direction, when we cannot be sure what is a head of us. Until we bid farewell to these former parts of ourselves, we will not be fully prepared to step into the void and grasp the new sense of identity that awaits us on our journey. We have to allow ourselves to feel the depth of our sadness, anger, pain or any losses that hurt us. “And it came to pass that there was no contention among all the people, in all the land; but there were mighty miracles wrought among the disciples of the Savior,” reports 4 Nephi 1.13. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7