To know what is true, attain genuine knowledge, and choose rightly, one needs only to confine the assent of the will to what is clearly and distinctly perceived by the understanding as true or good. God cannot therefore be blamed for human’s errors. The Lord endowed human beings with understanding adequate for the perception of truth and with a will that is absolutely unlimited in its freedom to accept what is true and reject what is doubtful or false. Therefore, free will is infinite, meaning that no limitation whatsoever is put upon the mind’s power of choice. Because of the power that interactions have on our mind, there is no doubt that well-being is deeply attuned to relationships, and that consciousness resonates to the feedback we receive from other people. It is not difficult to see why we are so enmeshed in our social milieu, both mentally and physically. However, there are no cookbook rules for human dialogue. We do not know when to add two table spoons of unsweetened advice, or one cup of love, softened, or if we need to apply 1 tablespoon of vanilla empathy. The only major precondition for dialogue is trust. If trust exists between two people, then dialogue will naturally develop like Grandma’s Lemon Meringue Pie with no soggy bottoms in sight. “People receive remission of sins and have peace of conscience,” reports Mosiah 4.3. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9

Nonetheless, there is a widespread illusion that good dialogue must always be pleasant, that we must make the other person feel good. Some people always try to look good and act well around other people and you never can tell if they a re being honest with you or not. Even though you highly recommend a book and it is “#1 New York Times Bestseller,” if it is not good I want to be able to say so. This one book I read was so annoying, halfway through it, I felt like it was a book written by a high school student and was by someone who could not overcome their emotions from a past relationship and was really jealousy and had deep seated resentment toward the person they were dating. I was so frustrated by reading it, I called the person up and the first thing out of my mouth was, “I hate this book.” Like, I could not keep forcing myself to read it. I could not tell if it was the lack of sleep, the repetitiveness of the day, or the book that was really bothering, but I am pretty sure it was mostly the book. Being honest and expressing our feelings, even about a book is important. consciously putting our best foot forward, always looking good, is an essentially adolescent attitude, yet many adults enter marriage with these adolescent notions about dialogue. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9

We need to be able to honestly communicate with people and have them comprehend that what we are saying is the truth, it is how we feel. It may not always been pretty and it may not always be nice, but people have to respect the decisions we make in life. Much like in the film The Monkey’s Paw, there is an enormous price for interfering with fate. And some people just want freedom, they want to feel like they are alone in a forest and there is no one around, no one holding them back, no one waiting on them, no one who needs them, no one who depends on them. They just want to be free and let life happen naturally. Because of this, some people believe that trial periods of living together before marriage would be preferable to a lifelong commitment to other individual about whom so little is known. These test periods help prevent divorce and prevents children from being involved. In divorce, the individual is rejected and left to feel like a profound failure. Trust is usually needed as a factor in a relationship and it is a gradually emerging process that involves ever greater degrees of commitment. All dialogue involves commitment to a contract that is both implicitly understood and explicitly documented. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9

 Regardless of whether the contract is until death do us part or for a two-year trial period—let us live together and see what happens or let us be friend—both the explicit and implicit aspects of the contract modulate the level of trust and consequently the nature of the dialogue. A lifelong commitment to another person, while no guarantee that dialogue will flourish, at least provides the framework in which trust can grow. Since the commitment is more total than that of a mere trial period, each individual is psychologically free to make mistakes and still feel assured that the dialogue will not be lost. Doors of communication will swing open if people will realize time and participation are the necessary ingredients. Discussion, differences should not be ignored, but should be weighed and evaluated calmly. One’s point or opinion usually is not as important as a healthy, continuing relationship. Courtesy and respect in listening and responding during discussions are basic in proper dialogue. As we learn to participate together in meaningful associations, we are able to convey our thoughts of love, dependence, and interest. It is also important to know how to disagree with another’s point of view without being disagreeable. If we would know true love and understanding of one another, we must realize that communication is more than just words. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9

In addition to degree of commitment, predictability is one of the core aspects of the growth in trust. If either person becomes unpredictable in areas of behaviour crucial to the other person, then trust is placed in jeopardy. This can happen if both components of the contract, the implicit commitments and the explicit commitments, are not adhered to. Generally in human relationships it is the violation of implicit commitments that leads to a deterioration of dialogue. It is often mistakenly assumed in human relationships that the contract made with other people are completely explicit. This is perhaps the central error many people make, who assume that in trial periods of living together all the commitments that people make to each other can be spelled out in a totally rational manner. However, as any lawyer, physician, psychiatrist, or psychologist realizes, even in the most clear-cut types of human interactions, there are implicit commitments struck between the consenting parties which the parties themselves may not even be aware of. The fact is that even in the most explicit dialogue there are still many hidden assumptions. There has to be some compatibility between our goals and that of the other person or persons. This is always difficult in principle, given that each participant in the interaction is bound to pursue his or her self-interest. Nevertheless, in most situations, if one looks for it, one can discover at least a share of shared goals. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9

Another condition for a successful interaction is that one be willing to invest attention in the other person’s goals—not an east take either, considering that psychic energy is the most essential and scare resource we own. However, when we have shared interest that we accept and recognize and are willing to invest attention in each other’s goals, it is possible to get the most valuable results from being with other people—to experience the flow that comes from optimal interaction. We courageously look to the Savior and are motivated to be faithful, obedient, and pure. The blessings that we receive because of our goodness affect not only our lives, but also the lives of countless others in profound but often unknown ways. The importance of gaining knowledge is an eternal principle. All truth and knowledge is most important, but amidst the constant distraction of our daily lives, we must especially pay attention to increasing our gospel knowledge so we can understand how to apply gospel principles to our lives. As our gospel knowledge increases, we will begin to feel confident in our testimonies and be able to state, “I know it.” With friends the conditions for an optimal interaction are usually maximized. We choose them because we see their goals as compatible with ours, and the relationship is one of equality. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9

Friendships are expected to provide mutual benefits, with no external constraints that might lead to exploitation. Ideally, friendships are never static: they provide ever new emotional and intellectual stimulations, so that the relationship does not fade into boredom or apathy. We try new things, activities, and adventures; we develop new attitudes, ideas, and values; we get to know friends more deeply an intimately. While many flow activities are enjoyable only in the short run, because their challenges are soon exhausted, friends offer potentially infinite stimulation throughout life, honing our emotional and intellectual skills. In the morning, I always say to myself that the hard weather will be over in the end and the way of melancholy will not be too long. A long night brings back the past happenings that seem to have happened yesterday, which makes my heart no longer tender. Who will gloss over my loneliness and I will say no more after the wind passes by. I will not attempt to win your delight and will not be concerned about whether I will gain your love. Since I am now totally attached to you, I should tell you the truth. If you are the beautiful seashore, I will be the tidal wave at your foot. The white wave is the love song sung for you and the colorful seashells are the poetic lines composed for you. Whether on the ebb or flow, the sea and shore are always together. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9

You are a flame of fire burning violently, brightening my life. I would like to plunge into your heart, melting the whole of myself. “I live it.” The scriptures teach that we must be doers of the word, and not hearers only. We live the gospel and become the doers of the word by exercising faith, being obedient, loving serving others, and following our Saviors example. We act with integrity and do what we know is right at all times and in all things, and in all places no matter who may or may not be watching. “The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations,” reports Isiah 58.11-12. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? DO you believe that your beauty is matchless and everyone is infatuated with you? However, I love your soul more than your appearance. “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the Earth and thick darkness is over the people, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn. Lift up your eyes and look about you: All assemble and come to you. Then you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb and swell with joy; the wealth on the seas will be brought to you, to you the riches of the nations will come,” reports Isiah 60.1-5. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9

The World is the true classroom. The most rewarding and important type of learning is through experience, seeing something with our own eyes. In our mortal condition, no one is perfect. Even in our most diligent efforts to live the gospel, all of us will make mistakes, and all of us will sin. What a comforting assurance it is to know that through our Savior’s redeeming sacrifice, we can be forgiven and made clean again. This process of true repentance and forgiveness strengthens out testimony and our resolve to obey the Lord’s commandments and live our life according to gospel standards. When you smile, the World smiles. My heart is waiting and waiting. I love lilac you presented me with and the white lilies you gave me are still in my heart. The less we depend on material benefits, the more we can enjoy its potential for emotional rewards. The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The most rewarding things we do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done. Finding ways to make life meaningful and purposeful and rewarding, doing the activities that we love and spending time with the people that we love—that is the meaning of this human experience. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9