Maybe it is time you all come out of that insanity of unreality and seriously realize how much trouble you are in. It is a lot like being stuck in a foreign country and not knowing anyone nor having any friends you can trust. And although it is your private life and personal business it is a big joke and there is no one you can turn to for answers. You think you handle a matter then days later you have to deal with again, and all people can tell you is, “Try not to worry about it,” or “The rules recently changed and these are the new procedures,” or “Sorry, I can’t help you,” or “If you call here again, we’ll have you arrested.” And while it may sound like no big deal to others, this is your life and you have no one to turn to if things do not go well. I spent my life in college preparing for a dream job to make sure I would not ever be in this situation. And here I am living around people who wet the bed and think it is normal to be drunk and have blood running down their legs. Grown able body men who poop their pants, as a practical—living in a crazy high rise, where if you open the windows the smell of drugs fills your apartment. What a life. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5

Every day, people are calling with upsetting news about my personal life. My life and human rights do not matter…and yet I have to pretend everything is great and there is no one to talk to, all I can do is pray and hope God saves me. I try to find something to do to make myself feel better. Three days ago, I drank a bottle of wine, yesterday, I had candy and today I had more candy. I have probably gone from drink one bottle of wine a month two up to five, which is absolutely ridiculous. When my urine turned orange, I knew it was a problem, but actually I knew long before then. Many of you know how hard it is being an adult, but when you actually fall in love with someone you do not want to be with and then they play you and allegedly get engaged to someone else, and you have to find out through social media, it is hard…especially because this is not someone you really wanted to be with anyway. It is like a big conspiracy and people like playing games with my life and emotions. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5

I have gotten used to it, but it does not feel good. I am no longer drinking, but eating candy, which is another poison. I have even resorted to eating cakes and pies and pizza to make myself feel better and I think about all the damage this stuff is doing to my body…the fat, the sugar, the extra calories, and the liquor—all stuff I do not need. I am trying to quit all of the bad stuff, I really am. I had even given up meat for a while, but then, as you know, being a vegetarian is extremely expensive. So, I had to go back to eating meat, mostly fish, but at least I am not doing drugs. My body and mind are very important to me, so I have to cut out the bad stuff, and I am working to become emotionally stronger so I will not drown my sorrows or pain in pinot, but you know…that is also part of it, it is not just frustration, I have body aches and pain. Compression fractures in my spine, nerve pain shooting down my leg and in my arm so bad that it sometimes hurts to move and wine really helps with that.  #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5

Nevertheless, I have to do things that do not aggravate my body and I have to find new ways to relax my mind. My dad and my grandfather are both veterans, so I am sure they went through much worse, but you would never know, they were always so in control of their lives and selves. So, you know, when I am upset, I cannot turn to a gummy bear or a slice of cake or a pizza to make myself feel better, but they do help because those were sources of happiness from childhood. I just have to make sure that I keep myself calm. It is easy for people to attack you and run and hide, and evade responsibility. And if you did not know, senior citizens can be worse bullies than kids. When you are bullied in school, usually it stops, or you can go to a different school, or you can find new friends or talk to someone and they will protect you. However, as an adult, bullying becomes a conspiracy, where people get away with violating your rights and physically attacking you and use different sources. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

You see, adults have this new game, where they get in positions of power and spy on your and have their minions attack you and there are a lot of them and nothing you can say about it and no one you can turn to. Then, they will label you as crazy so that way if you tell anyone what they are doing to you, it will be discredited. After a while, you will see there is no one you can turn to, but God. And one day things will improve. Just try to limit your contact with others who upset you for fun, find things you can do to enjoy yourself and know that it will all workout. The other scary part is sometimes even the people you love will betray you, and the scary part is when you know the people who are involved in the conspiracy will be punished, and these are some of the people you have known all of your life. It is very conflicting. I hope you all are reading this and realize how hard you have made my life. However, just like that newspaper in Europe were reporters got arrested for spying and hacking, it can happen in America, too. God bless you and peace be with you and never forget Rod Belagojevich and George Ryan. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5