One day, he plays her false, and who is supposed to be there to pick of those pieces? There is something about celibacy that feel so good to me, it is like walking outside after a snow storm and feeling the crisp, cold air on my skin. There is a serenity in knowing I am not having the sex, I am not kissing anyone, no one is getting their germs on me and I am obeying God. There is a certain purity that comes with celibacy, a type of pride in not lusting after anyone. I see the beauty in people’s eyes, the grace in their smile, the charm in their words. Starting to see the human body as a work of art and enjoying the company of a person, celibacy is something you cannot buy or fake, it is something intrinsic, a quality that not many others may have. Some may be rich, have perfect bodies, or a line out of the door of people waiting to worship and date them, but I have the purity of knowing no one is touching me nor defiling my body. While I feel clean, however, inside there is a little rage that people got away with torturing me, and trying to kill be and destroying my property and not having to pay for it, and the fact that they spend over a decade laughing about it and calling it a game makes me feel a subtle rage.  #RandolphHarris 1 of 8

I used to be so naive, that when I was reading about the archangel, Rafael’s church, I actually thought he built it and lived there and that was not too long about, but who really knows what happened in the year 1505? Now, I do not believe anything anyone tells me, unless I have documented proof from a trusted source, even if I see it with my own eyes because people are such great actors and have a way of getting powerful people do to illegal things, and make documented statements that are not true, even when their is unbiased information, which has been well established, to contradict what they are saying.  When someone oppresses you, and keeps you from living your dreams, sometimes are stuck in places you do not want to be. After I have breakfast and open the windows, the smell of drugs comes blowing in my entire apartment and it stinks. The doctor recently asked me if I smoke or chew tobacco, I replied, “No thank you.” She then told me she was not offering, she does not have a secret stash. I told her I was still waking up. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8

Drugs run so free and the community and things that happen should not. People do not believe a lot of these stories of corruption, they think they are crazy, but if it did not happen, we would have World peace, right? If you work in law enforcement, you would find out crazy things happen more often than you think, people even pull guns on the police. No one is really safe. I have no friends, and most of these people are older than me. Sometimes I socialize with others in the lobby, but I feel guilty, like I should not be talking to them. Spending a lot of money on air refreshers reminds me of living in the suburbs where the air smells sweet. I spend my time alone, walking near the castle, so thankful that I do not need a cane nor a flask. However, I am thankful for everything I have because some men and women are dying in the trenches, but here, people are living. I am living. Hearts mean more than blood. As I sit here typing this essay, I am also thankful I do not have a drug addiction—the crack of murder is real. I am the loyal one. The one who will never turn away from my Lord or the promises that I have made. People like Benjamin Atkins, or Allan Gore were not as lucky as I am.  #RandolphHarris 3 of 8

Still, I feel like I have earned more than this and could have achieved more if people did not spend a decade playing games with my life. The benefit is I have no done anything to take revenge. I believe that vengeance is the Lord’s. I can imagine it is hard for the housewives in Big Little Lies—being trapped in situations and trying to make the best of it and stay attractive. The perfect life, the perfect wife, the perfect knife. Lucas, Texas is a haven for the rich. Low taxes, affordable property, and good schools. In 1979, the wealthy executives of Texas Instruments settled just outside of the booming Dallas city limits. It was a picture-perfect community; the streets were lined with mansions and might night green lawns. Outside, the silent sky watches, as each day the men would head off to their jobs, and the women stayed at the house to take care of their children, tend to playdates, and gossip with the other housewives, as this was the highlight of their day. Candy Wheeler married Pat Montgomery, but she was never too happy with him because he was introverted. Nevertheless, he was destined to be wealthy. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8

As his wealth bloomed and the marriage developed, she tried to express through her house and through decoration, church was her social Universe. Candy Montgomery was the center of attention, she was easy to talk to and had all the skills of a politician. Her life was perfect, but deep down something was wrong. So, where does a self-righteous woman in need go to satisfy her desires? Church. Allan Gore was a tall, and very attractive man, also of a good financial standing, but he was married to his wife Betty. This did not stop Candy. During a volleyball game, Candy flirted with Allan, but he remained icy calm. However, Allan could feel a sexual majesty radiating from her, and Candy spent weeks and months convincing him to have an affair with her, “Yes,” she said, commanding him to come with her, and he finally gave in. They would meet up at the hotel room, during his lunch, and have the sex. Countless hours were spent in that hotel room touching her flesh, kissing the softness of her lips, and she was the starlet whose sweetness seemed to last forever and ever as the grinding moments grew deep with a slow rhythm toward something too powerful for either of them to stop now.  #RandolphHarris 5 of 8

 At the time, Allan’s wife was pregnant with his second child and Candy had two children with her husband. As the hot steamy affair went on, the fear was not of their powerful orgasms, but of the taboo of their flesh joined, but the tears, the sound of their complete vulnerability and the startling way in which they felt so comfortable with each other, so totally bonded to one another.  He felt the burst of his orgasm washing his body—its delicious liberation and heavy consequence. They both knew that something had been broken and to speak now would mean the end of their affair. Candy and Allan parted with prayer in their heads. Allan wanted to do the right thing and be there for his wife who was soon to give birth. He felt a burden of regret for letting this force, Candy, consume him and was ready to fall on the mercy of God. After the affair was over, Alisa Gore, Allan’s daughter wanted to send the night with the Montgomery kids, by this time Betty Gore had given birth to their second child, and thought it would be nice to have a break and tend to the baby. Star Wars was the hottest movie in the nation and the kids were going to see this. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8

 The next day, Candy wanted to take all the kids swimming, Allan Gore had taken a job out of town, and Alisa had forgotten her swim suit. Candy told her it was no problem, she would just go and pick it up. Once at Betty’s house, Candy had a confrontation with Betty because Betty discovered that she had an affair with Allan. Candy told Betty that they had an affair, but it was over and she really was not attracted to her many anyway, that he was not really that hot to begin with, and the two women fought, an axe was produced and by the end of the ordeal, Betty lie on the floor melting in blood with her arm nearly cut off and face disfigured. Candy, then went and took a shower in her clothes at Betty’s house, drove back to the house and changed clothes and went to church as nothing had happened. When Allan could not reach his wife for days on end, he called Candy to ask how she was doing and Candy told him she was excellent. Still, he was not convinced, so Allan had two body go by the house and break in, after Betty did not answer and they found her on the floor in a bloody pool.  The police wanted to believe a transient was responsible for the murder because this type of crime was absolutely unheard of. However, they found Candy’s bloody finger print and sandal print near the body.  #RandolphHarris 7 of 8

Candy was arrested. When it came time for her to testify in the murder trial, Candy cooked up a tale of being confronted by Betty and trying to assure her the affair was long over with Allan, but that Betty refused to accept it. Candy then said Betty came at her with an axe, and she was outraged at being attacked and that she grabbed the axe and begin hitting Betty over, and over, 41 times total, until Betty was down. It was a riveting tale of self-defense, and the jury returned with a not guilty verdict. Many in the community refused to believe Candy could do anything evil because she was such a nice and pretty young lady, and Betty had a reputation for being said and depressed. Now, Candy lives in Atlanta, Georgia and is a mental health therapist to tends and adults suffering from depression. Ironic, Allan lost custody of his daughters, and Candy’s attorney Don Crowder committed suicide. Writing is a great outlet for me, it is not what I want to do and the suburbs are not as safe as you think. You have no idea what those people are doing in their houses. After this time, I needed to tell her that I am sorry. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8