And so she was launched on the Devil’s Road with this wretched sacrament, without the need of prodding, letting the thirst carry her through it.  Predictably long-term consequences of interpersonal betrayal depend on whether one asks the betrayed or the betrayer. For instance, 26 percent of respondents reporting on their own betrayals claimed their behaviors had actually improved their relationship, 42 percent reported that they had no change or only temporary harm, and only 29 percent claimed their betrayal had damaged or ended the relationship. However, not one betrayal victim claimed the relationships had been improved by their partner’s behavior; rather, 86 percent claimed that it had damaged or destroyed it. The consequences of sexual infidelity may be particularly dramatic and long-lasting. The discovery of infidelity means the shattering of long-held assumptions about the meaning of marriage, perceptions of the partner and views of oneself. And so tall graceful long-haired dancers would dance no more. People are often left speechless and plainly horrified. With the severity of reaction being associated with the strength of those assumptions it was discovered that 67 percent of betrayed husbands and 53 percent of betrayed wives suffered significant damage to their self-image and confidence, and 18 percent and 21 percent respectively suffered feelings of abandonment and attacks on their sense of belonging. 

And these attacks and feelings of rejection go beyond just being feelings, they become reality. Everywhere you go, people will disrespect you, literally tell you to are not welcomed and to leave, pretend they cannot see you, and some will act like they are your friends, but six months down the line will sabotage you and become your enemy for no reason. People will not speak of the things that they have done wrong to you, but will treat you as you are a defiant child who deserves punishment. While the spouse who betrayed you goes unnoticed or gets rewarded, and then plays the role of the double edge sword in your life, where they are pretending to understand what you are going through and like they are the only one there to support you, but will also turn and exploit you. When your former spouse noticed you are waking up to their games of betrayal, they will suddenly act nice, and you have no one else in the World to depend on, so you try to see the good in them and just pray that God will help you through the situation. Conversely, your former spouse will also play on your emotions, know that you are a good person, and make it seem like he or she had no choice and try to beg you for sympathy, making you feel like their life is in danger, or they will face punishment without you.  

It also seems like professionals you pay to help you are intermingling with people you know behind your back because of the way they are acting and the things they say. And people are far more interested in your life than the things that they should be paying attention to. Life becomes like a game of Cluedo—a sort of murder mystery, where a crime took place, and you have to be very careful not to become a victim and deduce a way out of the situation by strategically moving around the community collecting clues about the circumstances that led to the situation you are in. One becomes a boxer in their own ring trying to defend themselves and you damn there need a private eye to see what is going on. You cannot just be yourself around anyone, you always have to be on guard and professional and when you express concern for the eradicate behavior from the people around you, they present you with these typical phrases: “How much have you have to drink?” or “What are you talking about?” Or “Are you okay?” Meanwhile, people pretend not to see the bruises on your face and body and head and act like they have no idea of the physical and emotional pain you are in. It is like the entire community is lying in a heap and they are all unconscious, but you detect no blows to their heads, no rushing of blood within the skulls, no permanent damage, which leaves you feel like is this just how life is? If life just a real-life game, initially harmless, but grows increasingly personal until you start to fear for your life as you elude agents from the mysterious game’s organizers like that movie The Game with Michael Douglas.  

Nonetheless, you know something is truly wrong because you really have to pay these bills and you really suffer these injuries and have to deal with serious consequences if you do anything wrong. And the guy dancing and clicking and stomping like a flamenco dancer in the apartment upstairs is very real. The drama of betrayal, rejection, revenge, and forgiveness is played out between relationship partners who hold beliefs and expectations about the rights and wrongs of relationship behavior, and the consequences of breaking the rules. Clearly, our understanding of this fascinating area of human social behavior still has some way to go, particularly in relation to the various script components, such as the art of taking just enough revenge and the complex negotiations involved in winning forgiveness. Indeed, some of these components themselves constitute mini-scripts with important implications for the ongoing emotions and behaviors of the interacting parties. Much also remains to be learned still about forgivable and unforgivable betrayals in different relational contexts, such as among family members and within different cultures. I am exhausted. And I do not have the spirit for it, which is a Hell of a situation.  

The back parlor had been cleaned and dusted earlier this very day, and I could sell the cleaning lady’s distant perfume. As I was laying in bed, I reached for my eye drops to moisten my eyes and to my surprise it was a small bottle of salicylic acid. Thank God, I realized this at 3.30am because I was groggy and that stuff surely would have caused me to burn my eyes out. Nonetheless, I know that a person who truly cares about me would not sit back and watch me go through this endless torture. I also know that God is great, and being healthy and well is one of the largest rewards in life. So many people are obsessed with money and status, but the ability to see, hear, touch, taste, walk, and feel are the most important things in the World. No amount of money, as it stands, can cure death nor ensure life. So, even if you are rich or not, be sure to enjoy the gifts that God has blessed us with. I have lost a lot and been hurt a lot, but I am so thankful that God stopped me from mistaking salicylic acid for my eye drops. I may have chronic dry eyes, for whatever reason, and I may not be perfect, but I thank God for loving me enough to protect me and save me. I am truly grateful. Well, every day you see that man or woman you betrayed, look him or her right in the eyes and say, “I think you are beautiful.” And watch what happens. The first day you may get cursed out, the second day, too—but you watch, you keep on, after a while one day the object of your affection is going to start smiling just as soon as you come in sight.