The mansion, I loved it. I found it perfectly proportioned, which was not always the case with American Greek Revival houses, but this one, preening on its terrace of land, was more than agreeable and inviting, with its long pecan-tree drive, and its regal windows all around. Interior? What Americans call giant rooms. Dustless, manicured. Full of mantel clocks, mirrors, portraits and Persian rugs, and the inevitable mélange of nineteenth-century mahogany furniture that people mix with new reproductions of classic. Hepplewhite and Louis XIV styles to achieve the look they call Traditional or antique. Eh? And all pervaded by the inevitable drone of massive air-conditioning, which not only cooled the air magically, but provided the Privacy of Sound, which has so transformed the South in this day and age. One of the good things about loving the boy is I had not “made” him. He had come to me free of charge. I had felt a little like Socrates must have felt with all those gorgeous Greek boys coming to him for advice, that is, until somebody showed up with the Burning Hemlock. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 6

We often admire the folly of dupe, when we should transfer our whole surprise to the astonishing guilt of the betrayer. Men is false to himself, and betrays his own succors ten times where nature does it once. Loyalty (and its opposite, betrayal) is a manifestation of individual dispositions of a state-like or trait-like nature. Man’s desire of Earthly experience draws him to rebirth, and he is born into a form that fits his nature as a glove a hand; the soul of a warrior passes into the robust form of a warrior; the soul of a poet into the sensitive body of a poet. Trustworthiness is the number one quality we desire in other people, it is not being sexy nor attractive, it is really being able to trust somebody. Throughout recorded human history, treachery and betrayal have been considered amongst the very worst offenses people could commit against their kith and kin. Dante, for example, relegated traitors to the lowest and coldest regions of Hell, to be forever frozen up to their necks in a lake of ice with blizzards storming all about them, as punishment for acting so coldly toward others. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 6

Even today, the crime of treason merits the most severe penalties, including capital punishment. However, betrayals need not involve issues of national security to be regarded as serious. From sexual infidelity to disclosing a friend’s secrets, betraying another person or group of people implies unspeakable disloyalty, a breach of trust, and a violation of what is good and proper. Moreover, all of us will suffering both minor and major betrayals throughout our lives, and most of us will unwittingly betray others. To betray has many different meanings including to deliver up to an enemy, to be disloyal or unfaithful, to deceive or mislead, to reveal secrets, to seduce and desert, and to disappoint the hope or expectations of another. Implicit in a number of these definitions is the rejection of or discounting of one person by another; however, the nature of the relationship between interpersonal betrayal and rejection has not been addressed. Rejection tends to occur early in the process of trying to establish a relationship, whereas betrayal occurs in an established relationship where partners are involved with, and to an extent, trust one another. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 6

Rejection is painful, but the pain is for loss of potential relationship. Betrayal, however, is devastating because it disrupts an ongoing, meaningful relationship in which partners have invested material and emotional resoures.  To be betrayed is worse than rejection, within an interpersonal relationship. Essentially, betrayal means that one party in a relationship acts in a way that favors his or her own interest at the expense of the other party’s interest. In one sense, this behavior implies that the betrayer regards his or her needs as more important than the need of the partner or the relationship. In a deeper sense, however, betrayal sends an ominous signal about how little the betrayer cares about, or values his or her relationship with, the betrayed partner. In particular, when those on whom we depend for love and support betray our trust, the feeling is like a stab at the heart that leaves us feeling unsafe, diminished, and alone. Psychologically, then, betrayal may be considered as a profound form of interpersonal rejection with potentially serious consequences for the healthy function of the betrayed individual. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

When two partners play by the rules and meet each other’s expectations, their relationship runs smoothly, and relatively little emotion, beneficial or negative, is experienced. However, when relationship partners behave in ways that violate each other’s expectations, there is an interruption, to the smooth running relationship and the scene is set for an emotional interaction between the partners. In particular, the partner whose expectations have been violated must attend to the situation and decide what is mean in relation to his or her needs, concerns, and goals. An individual who holds a strong belief that sexual infidelity is wrong and who expects their partner will be faithful is likely to be shocked and disappointed to discover infidelity, and to the extent that one has trusted the other not to behave in such a fashion, the partner is likely to feel betrayed. God to be the perfect gentleman, let me to my partner be so bedecked, retire, and let them stew at my grave hereafter. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 6

The key to betrayal lies in relationship knowledge structure people’s theories, beliefs, and expectations about how relations in general, and their own relationships particular, should work—and also in people’s trust that their partners will share, or at least respect those beliefs and meet those expectations. Interpersonal trust is the confident expectation that a partner is intrinsically motivated to take one’s own best interest into account when acting—even when incentives might tempt him or her to do otherwise. Clearly, trusting others exposed us to the risk of betrayal if they violate those confident expectations and take advantage of us. Moreover, if the relationship between two parties has been an intimate one, then the implications of betrayal are especially painful: The person to whom we have disclosed and entrusted our deepest fears and vulnerabilities appears neither to care about our relationship nor to be committed to it. Little wonder, then, that such experiences of betrayal trigger feelings of rejection, abandonment, and aloneness. God only commands issues, man uses means.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 6