It is better to condescend to be happy than to aspire to be miserable. As we have seen, many people who work in mental health often compound, rather than alleviate the problems people are having. Frequently, psychiatrists and therapist work in assembly-line offices where they see patients that they hardly know, for fifteen minutes, and then dole out pills to relieve pain, anxiety, or depression. Their message seems to be, “Leave it to us to fix you; just be compliant and take these drugs and come back in three months—but be sure not to use alcohol or (illegal) drugs to relieve your problems.” Such shortcuts in treatment make it impossible to develop self-care and self-leadership. One tragic example of this orientation is the rampant prescription of pain killers, which now kill more people in the United States of America than guns or car accidents. Overdose deaths involving prescription opioids have quadrupled since 1999, and so have sales of these drugs. From 1999 to 2014, more than 165,000 people have died in the United States of America from overdoses related to prescription opioids. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5

Every day, over 1,000 people are treated in emergency departments for misusing prescription opioids. The most common drugs involved in prescription opioid overdose deaths include: Methadone, Oxycodone (such as OxyCotin), Hydrocodone (such as Vicodin). Among those who died from prescription opioid overdose between 1999 and 2014: Overdose rates were highest among people aged 25 to 54 years. Overdose rates were higher among non-Hispanic whites and American Indian or Alaskan Natives, compared to non-Hispanic blacks and Hispanics. Men were more likely to die from overdose, but the mortality gap between men and women is closing. Overdose is not the only risk related to prescription opioids. Misuse, abuse, and opioid use disorder (addiction) are also potential dangers. In 2014, almost 2 million Americans abused or were dependent on prescription opioids. As many as 25 percent of people who receive prescription opioids long term for noncancer pain in primary care settings struggles with addiction. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5

Our increasing use of drugs to treat these conditions of trauma and pain does not address the real issues: What are these patients trying to cope with? What are their internal or external resources? How can they calm themselves down? Do they have caring relationships with their bodies, and what do they do to cultivate a physical sense of power, vitality, and relaxation? Do they have dynamic interactions with other people? Who really knows them, loves them, and cares about them? Whom can they count on when they are scared, when their babies are ill, or when they are sick themselves? Are they members of a community, and do they play vital roles in the lives of the people around them? What specific skills do they require to focus, pay attention, and make choices? Do they have a sense of purpose? What are they good at? How can we help them feel in charge of their lives? To know your own happiness, and that is now, nor to leave it to after-reflection to look back upon the preferable past with a heavy and self-accusing heart, that you did not choose it when you might have chosen it, is all that is necessary to complete your felicity. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5

If we cannot be as happy as we wish, we should rejoice in the happiness we can have. I like to believe that once our society truly focuses on the needs of children, all forms of social support from families—a policy that remains so controversial in this country—will gradually come to seem not only desirable, but also possible. What difference would it make if all American children has access to high-quality day care where parents could safely leave their children as they went off to work or school? What would our school system look like if all children could attend well-staffed preschools that cultivated cooperation, self-regulation, perseverance, and concentration (as opposed to focusing on passing tests, which will likely happen once children are allowed to follow their natural curiosity and desire to excel, and are not shut down by hopelessness, fear, and hyperarousal)? Undoubtedly, we acquire many of our likes, dislikes, and fears as conditioned emotional responses. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

All of us, and especially children, need confidence—confidence that others will know, affirm, and cherish us. Without that we cannot develop a sense of agency (knowing who we are and feeling comfortable) that will enable us to asset: This is what I believe in; this is what I stand for; this is what I will devote myself to. As we have noted, learned desires for attention and approval, which are called social reinforces, often influence human behavior. As long as we feel safely held in the hearts and minds of the people who love us, we will do great things in life and reach amazing levels of success, we will stay up all night to finish projects, and work until our bodies hurt. Children and adults will do anything for people they trust and whose opinion they value. However, if we feel we are abandoned, worthless, or invisible, nothing seems to matter. The point to remember is that attention and approval can change behavior of children, family members, friends, roommates, and co-workers. Be aware of what you are reinforcing. My relations cannot be happy unless they make me unhappy. (www.thedeedle.com) #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5