There is no spiritual warfare going on, people are just having trouble complying with the laws, and looking for an excuse for their unethical behavior. Being validated by feeling heard and seen is a precondition for feeling safe, which is critical when we explore the dangerous territory of trauma and abandonment. A neuroimaging study has shown that when people hear a statement that mirror their inner state, the right amygdala momentarily lights up, as if to underline the accuracy of the reflection. Allow yourself to feel that joy as you look at an ideal dad who would have cared for you. Remember a really tender moment with your dad, and mom. Think about this for a while so you can fully internalize the experience and heal. Nobody grows up under ideal circumstances—as if we even know what the ideal circumstances are. Every life is difficult in its own way. However, we do know that, in order to become self-confident and capable adults, it helps us enormously to have grown up with steady and predictable parents; parents who delighted in you, in your discoveries and explorations; parents who helped you organize your comings and goings along with other people. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5

Defect in any of these areas are likely to manifest themselves later in life. A child who has been ignored or chronically humiliated is likely to lack self-respect. Children who have not been allowed to assert themselves will probably have difficulty standing up for themselves as adults, and most grown-ups who were brutalized as children might carry a smoldering rage that could take a great deal of energy to contain. Relationships will suffer as well. The more early pain and deprivation we have experienced, the more likely we are to interpret other people’s actions as being directed against us and the less understanding we will be of their struggles, insecurities, and concerns. If we cannot appreciate the complexity of their lives, we may see anything they do as a confirmation that we are going to get hurt and disappointed. The biology of trauma and abandonment disconnects people from their body as a source of pleasure and comfort, or even as a part of themselves that requires care and nurturance. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5

When we cannot rely on our body to signal safety or warning and instead feel chronically overwhelmed by physical stirrings, we lose the capacity to feel at home in our own skin and, by extension, in the World. As long as their map of the World is based on trauma, abuse, and neglect, people are likely to seek short cuts to oblivion. Anticipating rejection, ridicule, and deprivation, they are reluctant to try out new options, certain that these will lead to failure. This lack of experimentation traps people in a vortex of fear, isolation, and scarcity where it is impossible to welcome the very experience that might change their basic Worldview. This is one reason the highly structured experiences of psychomotor therapy can be so valuable. Participant can safely project their inner reality into a space filled with real people, where they can explore the cacophony and confusion of the past. This leads to concrete aha moments: Yes, that is what it was like. That is what I had to deal with. And that tis what it would have felt like back them if I had been cherished and cradled. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5

Acquiring a sensory experience of feeling treasured and protected as a three-year-old in the trancelike container of a structure allows people to rescript their inner experience, as in: I can spontaneously interact with other people without having to be afraid of being rejected or getting hurt. (That can be true for some, but be safe and trust your instincts.) Structures harness the extraordinary power of the imagination to transform the inner narratives that drive and confine our functioning in the World. With the proper support the secrets that one was too dangerous to be revealed can be disclosed not just to therapist, a latter-day father confessor, but in our imagination, to the people who actually hurt and betray us. That was you create and identify and communicate with them, so that your undamaged self can emerge. This gives you a chance to create a different outcome. Most people are hesitant to go into past pain and disappointment—it only promises to bring back the intolerable. However, as they are mirrored and witnessed, a new reality begins to take shape. Accurate mirroring feels completely different from being ignored, criticized, and put down. It gives you permission to feel what you feel and know what you know—one of the essential foundations of recovery. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

Trauma causes people to remain stuck on interpreting the present in light of an unchanging past. The scene you re-create in a structure may or may not be precisely what happened, but it represents the structure of you inner World: your internal map and the hidden rules that you have been living by. Insanity is a legal term that refers to an inability to manage one’s affairs or foresee the consequences of one’s actions. Think of an instance of abnormal behavior you have witnessed. By what formal standards would the behavior be regarded as abnormal? In what way was the behavior maladaptive? People who are harassed or abused often report feeling depressed, hopeless, and sometimes suicidal, and they are more likely to develop an external locus of control (feeling that one is not in control of one’s own life) than an internal locus of control (feeling in control). Harassment, prejudice, and hostility toward others can lead to a number of physical and mental health problems. People who experience stigma and harassment often feel alienated, depressed, and self-critical. Getting to know someone from a marginalized group, however, allows people to become more empathetic toward that person and possibility treat them more kindly. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5