We face certain problems by trying to develop exclusively along the path of transcendence. What a man has ever felt that all his thinking powers were absorbed, even by the most poignant mental misery that could occupy them? In moments of imminent danger, the mind can still travel of its own accord over the past in spite of the present—in moments of bitter affliction, it can still recur to everyday trifles in spite of ourselves. We might believe that if we awaken to God or the Self, our personal difficulties will magically disappear. Work and relationship problems, conflicts concerning self-esteem, anxiety, and depression will automatically take care of themselves if we mediate, pray, and transcend our ego-personalities. Although it is possible to have many meaningful spiritual experiences as we journey along the path of transcendence, the downside is that we might simply dissociate from our psychological conflicts and emotional problems. Moreover, if we exclusively cultivate our innermost spiritual awareness, the shadow side of our personality will usually find some way to become known. Sooner or later, whatever is split off is likely to come to the foreground, perhaps through a traumatic breakdown of mind or body or through painful difficulties in love and work. There is a drowsy state, between sleeping and waking, when you dream more in five minutes with your eyes half open, and yourself half conscious of everything that is passing around you, then you would in five nights with your eyes fast closed, and your senses wrap in perfect unconsciousness. At such times, a mortal knows just enough of what his mind is doing, to form some glimmering conception of its mighty powers, it is bounding from Earth and spurning time and space, when freed from the restraint of its corporeal associate. Sometimes it is not until we fall from grace that we finally come down to Earth and become aware of the split-off parts of our personality. 

What a felicity it is to mankind, that they cannot see into the hearts of one another! At the core of recovery is self-awareness. The most important phrases in trauma therapy are “Notice that” and “What happens next?” Traumatized people live with seemingly unbearable sensations: They feel heartbroken and suffer from intolerable sensations in the pit of their stomach or tightness in their chest. Yet avoiding feeling these sensations in our bodies increases our vulnerability to being overwhelmed by them. Body awareness puts us in touch with our inner World, the landscape of our organism. Simply noticing our annoyance, nervousness, or anxiety immediately helps us shift our perspective and opens up new options other than our automatic, habitual reactions. Mindfulness puts us in touch with the transitory nature of our feelings and perceptions. When we pay focused attention to our bodily sensation, we can recognize the ebb and flow of our emotions and, with that, increases our control over them. Traumatized people are often afraid of feeling. It is not so much the perpetrators (who, hopefully, are no longer around to hurt them) but their own physical sensations that now are the enemy. Apprehension about being hijacked by uncomfortable sensations keeps the body frozen and the mind shut. Even though the trauma is a thing of the past, the emotional brain keeps generating sensation that make the sufferer feel scared and helpless. It is not surprising that so many trauma survivors are compulsive eaters and drinkers, fear love, and avoid social activities: Their sensory World is largely off limits. There are a few difficulties associated with psychospiritual splitting. First is the tendency to use images of God to compensate for unmet childhood needs; second is the potential for ego-inflation if we identify with these images. When our use of God-images is compensatory and we identify with them, we inevitably inflate and drive our traumatized and lost parts further into the unconsciousness.  

Often it is only by suffering a profound dark night of ego that we let go of our inflated self-images, reclaim our wounded parts, and begin to realize our true identity as the formless Self beyond all images of God. The formless Self might then use our illumined and individual personality as a vessel through which to radiate the love, wisdom, and power of our true nature out into the World, into all the activities of our daily life. In order to change, one is required to open oneself to one’s inner experience. The first step is to allow your mind to focus on your sensations and notice how, in contrast to the timeless, ever-present experience of trauma, physical sensations are transient and respond to slight shifts in body positions, changes in breathing, and shifts in thinking. Once one pays attention to one’s physical sensations, the next step is to label them, as in “When I feel anxious, I feel a crushing sensation in my chest.” Focus on that sensation and see how it changes when you take a deep breath out, or when you tap your chest just below your collarbone, or when you allow yourself to cry. Practicing mindfulness calms down the sympathetic nervous system, so that you are less likely to be thrown into feeling the need to stand your ground or escape. Learning to observe and tolerate your physical reactions is a prerequisite for safely revisiting the past. If you cannot tolerate what you are feeling right now, opening up the past will only compound the misery and retraumatize you further. Because we identify exclusively with transient body, emotions, and mind, we lose sight of our true nature as pure being/awareness, the Knower in all states of consciousness. Learned men make one headful of brains go a long way by poaching on each other’s knowledge. The more knowledge a person has, the better they will do their work.