Care and suffering are devils—secret, stealthy, undermining devils—who tread down the brightest flowers in Eden, and do more havoc in a month then Time does in a year. Since loneliness that involves pain is denied cultural status, many people no longer feel a need to protect themselves from its ravages. Since out mass media now continually suggest that it is good to become independent of other humans, many enthusiastically try to construct a World free of the tyranny of human bonds. Just as the iron-lung machine was quickly discarded once polio was no longer considered a threat to health, so many people have discarded basic social supports that once provided companionship. As already stated, so many traditions, cultural practices, and beliefs that one provided relief from loneliness have been eroded in the past few decades that a person cannot assume that human companionship will be available when he needs it. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5

This means that the burden rests upon each individual to find the support that will help him survive the cyclical disruptions of human bonds that are an inevitable part of life. While this advice appears to be bland enough, it is a sweeping mandate. It suggests that people consider their investments in human companionship as of even greater importance than their investments in other aspects of their lives. As you know, human companionship is quite literally an important form of life insurance. When Julian entered my office almost a year later, I saw a handsome, young man, who looked happy. He told me that he was doing fine and feeling well, and that he was writing to build a career, and he always received excellent evaluation. He loved the challenges, the individual work, and loved the self-imposed structure of his military like lifestyle. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5

The goal of a good medical professional in treating people with a legacy of trauma, is not to determine exactly what happened to them, nor blame them, but to help them tolerate the sensations, emotions, and reactions they have experienced without being constantly hijacked by them. When the subject of blame arises, the central issue that needs to be addressed is usually self-blame—accepting that the trauma was not their fault, that it was not caused by some defect in themselves, and that no one would have could ever have deserved what happened to them. Once a legal case is involved, however, determination of culpability becomes primary, and with it the admissibility of evidence. However, most people choose to subsequently accept an out-of-court settlement because they do not want to talk about what happened in public, nor have their character ripped to shreds and possible suffer even more.  #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5

Before a case goes to trial, the judge holds a so-called Daubert hearing to set the standards for expert testimony to be presented to the jury. It is common for traumatized people to lose all memories of the event in question, only to regain access to them in bits and pieces at a much later date. The same standards would apply in Julian’s case. While my report to his lawyer remains confidential, it is based on decades of clinical experience and research on traumatic memory, including the work of some of the great pioneers of modern psychiatry. We all know how fickle memory is; our stories change and are constantly revised and updated. Just like when brothers and sisters talk about childhood memories, their constructions of reality do not always match, even when it is a pleasant memory. Such Autobiographical memories are not precise reflections of reality; they are stories we tell to convey our personal take on our experience. The soul’s life has seasons of its own; periods not found in any calendar, times that years and months will not scan. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

Time subdues all things. Time, the great healer of the unfortunate mind. Avoiding loneliness on an individual level within a society that fosters uprootedness, disconnectedness, alienation, and depersonalization is by no means an easy task. Decisions about moving, for instance, are often brutally simple—either move or lose your job. In many facets of our lives, events seem to be out of control. Taking stock of one’s current social network therefore requires some recognition of the relationship between alienation and loneliness and a rapidly changing society. Moreover, certain rather abstract ideas about health and human relationships must be incorporated into medical practice before a significant shift can occur in society as a whole. How tedious is time, when his wings are loaded with expectation! #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5