Sometimes it takes a long time before people are ready to talk about their abuse. Some do not want to violate their loyalty to their family—and deep inside feel that they still need to protect them. The price of this loyalty is unbearable feelings of loneliness, despair, and the inevitable rage of helplessness. Rage that has nowhere to go is redirected against the self, in the form of depression, self-hatred, and self-destructive actions. It is like hating your house, your kitchen, bathroom, and the weather, but constantly having to appear happy and like you enjoy everything when inside you feel like just falling to the ground, crying, and letting everything go. Nothing feels safe—least of all your own body. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 6

I remember when I had to go to therapy for something that was happening to me, and I could not make myself cross the road to the psychology department, but I knew I needed to go because of what happened, and a very nice young lady reporter went to therapy with me as a source of support. It was very helpful because I did not know who to trust, I was scared that someone was going to try and have me committed because of what they did to me, you know, to keep people from finding out. And I had to hide what happened to me from the doctors, my parents—and from everyone else. We just were not allowed to talk about it. No one wanted to admit that could happen to a young man. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 6

Where we come from, people are peaceful and most are healthy. They do not have family problems nor care about skin color, they are normal people. So to hear something like this happened and these events have been going on for years was totally devastating to people. It disrupted their minds because these things just do not happen. This is a safe community. And even afterwards, you know how it goes. I am still struggling now, but there are so many supportive people around. Yet, after a while, you really want to feel safe and be near someone and just hug them, like as a source of security, and I do not have that in my life right now. Erasing awareness and cultivating denial are often essential to survival, but the price is that you lose track of who you are, of what you are feeling, and of what and whom you can trust. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 6

Trauma is not stored as a narrative with an orderly beginning, middle, and end. Flashback of being choked while I was driving and unable to breathe, or getting held from behind while someone hit me in the head, or being pushed to the floor, after I told my friend I wanted to go home, or even just trying to enjoy a concert and being pushed by a reporter named Carlos, who claimed he could not see leaves a person not feeling safe to really go anywhere. Experiences, isolated images, sounds, and body sensations start to have no context other than fear and panic. However, people are listening, and I do not want to upset anyone, I really want this situation resolved so I can move on with my life. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 6

I am thankful for all of the support that has been offered to me and all the kind things you all say and how supportive and protective y’all are. I am so grateful for that. This support has exemplified the power of the life force, and it really gives a person the will to live and to know that it gets better. The only thing that makes it possible to heal from trauma is just learning to love yourself and be thankful for who you are and the people around you who do care. One of my biggest things is to look for things I like and smile often so the good energy stays in my body and goes out to others, and to laugh often. I have to admit, I really think Paris Hilton and 2 Broke Girls saved my life. Paris has been through it and 2 Broke Girls kept me laughing through my dark nights, when no one was around. I feel like I am almost out of the blackhole and something good is going to happen. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 6

Oh, God (Allah, Jehovah, LORD Almighty) to thee my heart I bow with bended knee, as failing quite in contemplating thee. One the long voyage of our life, every step is a test. However, making clear of one’s direction and aim, knowing one’s potentiality and stepping forward resolutely are more important. It is not the setback that is dreadful, but the despair in failure and repentance. All can start anew, and hope is just a head. The youthful heart belongs to you. New love is brightest, and long love is great; but revived love is the tenderest thing known on the Earth. (www.thedeedle.com) #RyanPhillippe 6 of 6