He cannot be happy who involuntarily is bound either to work, or starve; and yet he may be said to be happier whose daily labor supplies his daily want than one obligated to want for years together. Conscientious parents often become alarmed when they discover attachment research, worrying that their occasional impatience or their ordinary lapses in attunement may permanently damage their kids. In real life there are bound to be misunderstandings, inept responses, and failures of communication. Because mothers and fathers miss cues or are simply preoccupied with other matters, infants are frequently left to their own devices to discover how they can calm themselves down. Within limits this is not a problem. Kids are required to learn to handle frustrations and disappointments. With good enough caregivers, child(ren) learn that broken connections can be repaired. The critical issues is whether they can incorporate a feeling of being viscerally safe with their parents or other caregivers.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 9

Knowledge is the best riches that a man can possess. Without it, he is a brute; with it, he is a God. However, like happiness, he often purses it without finding it; or, at beast, obtain of it but an imperfect glimpse. It is not that the road to it is either dark or difficult, but that he takes a wrong one; or if he enters on the right, he does so unprepared for the journey. In a study of attachment patters in over two thousand infants in normal middle-class environments, 62 percent were found to be secure, 15 percent avoidant, and 9 percent anxious (also known as ambivalent), and 15 percent disorganized. Interestingly, this large study showed that the child’s gender and basic temperament have little effect on attachment styles; for instance, children with difficult temperaments are not more likely to be disorganized, with parents severely stressed by economic and family instability. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 9

Traditional methods for alleviating distress—including traditional medical approaches—do not seem viable for large numbers of people. Several years ago, while describing the effects of human contact on the heart to a group of graduate psychology students, I mentioned that a gentle human hug from someone you are affectionate with and has kind feelings towards you slows the heart rate of a human. In the ensuing discussion, one of the students stressed the need to separate the effects of my hugging the young man from mere tactile stimulation. “Is it,” he asked, “your hugs that is causing the slowing of his heart rate, or is it merely tactile contact on the person’s head?” This question was undoubtedly important, but, before the comment could be answered, the students began debating how they might be able to adequately explore the problem. One suggested that they way to test this question would be to develop a virtual family. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 9

The best experimental control would could develop was an interactive TV that could see both way, and an environment with cameras so the virtual family could always watch the test subject. The seriousness with which this suggestion was made, as well as the imagery it conjured up, gave me pause. One can only wonder how perplexed a person would be if a virtual family quietly slipped into a room to hug him or pet him on the head! Because of the virtual relationship, love and human companionship are now constantly equated with things, and endless variety of commercial products promise relief from loneliness. For instance, a recent television commercial for a particular brand of coffee depicted an attractive you man, who had recently moved into a new neighborhood and was greatly anxious to meet his new neighbor. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 9

Finally, someone rings his door bell; it was the next door neighbor. Thank God he just happens to be brewing coffee, because if he were not, the neighbor just might go away and never come back. If coffee can help fill the void of loneliness, then why not buy it?  It is interesting to note the extent to which commercial television also suggest the opposite point of view, that social interactions are usually very unpleasant experiences. Viewers are left convinced that the only thing that can protect them from other assaultive human beings is their particular product. Thus, if you invite people to your house, they will tell you that your house has peculiar odors, your floor is yellow, your breath smells, your collar is dirty, or your underarms are offensive. You are left convinced that you are living in a cesspool…either buy the products or avoid other people! #RyanPhillippe 5 of 9

Many laugh at educated adults who pay large sums to go and play youthful games of touch and hug in scientific institutes, and several fail to see the signs. The programming of human concerns has produced the central hope of emergence that there is a promise to deliver love through soaps, toothpastes, toothbrushes, aspirins, or automobiles, or to alleviate loneliness through coffee, health tonics, or tap water. However, scientific institutes sell another product—objective knowledge—that can actually deliver love and cure loneliness through monogamous and accommodating human interaction in reality. Scientist has legitimized human intimacy and have legitimized behaviors like hugging. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 9

Children who do not feel safe in infancy have trouble regulating their moods and emotional responses as they grow older. By kindergarten, many disorganized infants are either aggressive or spaced out and disengaged, and they go on to develop a range of psychiatric problems, likely because they make good soft targets seeing as they are so isolated and uncared for. These children also show more psychological stress, as expressed in heart rate, heart variability, stress hormone responses, and lowered immune factors. Does this kind of biological dysregulation automatically reset to normal as a child matures or is moved to a safe environment? So far as we know, it is possible. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 9

Quite apart from this movement to get people literally to hug and touch other adults, universities and scientific institutes all over the country are now engaged in an astounding variety of group therapies, group encounters, marathons, sensitivity groups, family therapy, and so on—again, all designed to get people in touch with one another. It is almost as if were trapped on the Moon and cannot see anyone around us, with a thousand flippers selling different “scientific” remedies.  For many people, meeting with an individual or individuals they like and can have an intelligent in depth discussion with and close with a hug, provides therapeutic and an exclusive encounter for human relationships and emotional relief from a pervasive, overwhelming loneliness. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 9

Some people believe that their childhood has no bearings on their present situation. However, it is sometime helpful in revealing the roots of anger to look at a person’s childhood. One of my friends was enraged because his father betrayed him constantly, and his mother who essentially ignored him in favor of his older brother. Instead of expressing his anger outwardly, eh had dealt with the situation by becoming obsessed with winning awards, people’s approval, while inwardly feeling that he was totally inadequate, in competent, and incomplete and to blame for his parents’ unloving behavior—in other words, by turning his anger against himself. God (Jehovah, Allah) is great good, and present. God lifts my spirit in adoration, devotion, and reverence. Let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (www.thedeedle.com)  #RyanPhillippe 9 of 9