Currently, perhaps the most common reason for intimacy to suffer or vanish entirely is an exclusive focus on someone’s history of past trauma and the resulting issues. Fire in straw will not be hidden, and the flames of affection will burst forth at length, though it be long kept under. Reliving a strong negative emotion causes significant changes in the brain areas that receive nerve signals from the muscles, gut, and skin—areas that are crucial for regulating basic bodily functions. The brain scans, as you recall, showed that recalling an emotional event from the past causes us to actually re-experience the visceral (internal organs) sensations felt during the original event. Each type of emotion produced a characteristic pattern, distinct from the others. For instance, a particular part of the brain stem was active in sadness and anger, but not in happiness or fear. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

All of these brain regions that produce emotions are below the limbic system, to which emotions are traditionally assigned, yet we acknowledge their involvement every time we use one of the common expressions that ink strong emotions with the body: You make me sick; it made my skin crawl; I was all choked up; my heart sank; he makes me bristle. The elementary self-system in the brain stem and limbic system is massively activated when people are faced with the threat of annihilation, which results in an overwhelming sense of fear and terror accompanied by intense physiological arousal. To people who are reliving a trauma, nothing makes sense; they are trapped in a life-or-death situation, a state of paralyzing fears or blind rage. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

People who are traumatized have their mind and body constantly aroused, as if they are in imminent danger. They startle in response to the slightest noises and are frustrated by small irritations. Their sleep is chronically disturbed, and food often loses its sensual pleasures. This in turn can trigger desperate attempts to shut those feelings down by freezing and dissociation. How do people regain control when their caveman brains are stuck in a stand your ground or escape for survival mode? If what goes on deep inside our caveman brains dictates how we feel, and if our body sensations are orchestrated by subcortical (subconscious) brain structures, how much control over them can we actually have? #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

Knowing what we feel is the first step to knowing why we feel that way. If we are aware of the constant changes in our inner and outer environment, we can mobilize to manage them. However, we cannot do this unless our watchtower, the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC), which controls a person’s personality, learns to observe what is going on inside us. This is why mindfulness practice, which strengthens the MPFC, is a cornerstone of recovery from trauma. However, do not be discouraged. Many people have survived trauma through tremendous courage and persistence, only to get into the same kinds of trouble over and over again. Trauma has shut down their inner compass and robbed them of the imagination they require to create something better. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, the often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves. The more people try to push away and ignore internal warning signs, the more likely they are to take over and leave them bewildered, confused, and ashamed. People who cannot comfortably notice what is going on inside or become vulnerable to respond to any sensory shift either by shutting down or by going into a panic—they develop a fear of fear itself. People’s lives will be held hostage to fear until that visceral (internal organs) experience changes. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

The price for ignoring or distorting the body’s messages is being unable to detect what is truly dangerous or harmful for you and, just as bad, what is safe or nourishing. Self-regulation depends on having a friendly relationship with your body. Without it you have to rely on external regulation—from medication, drugs like alcohol, constant reassurance, or compulsive compliance with the wishes of others. Do not let anyone look down upon you because you are young. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely.  Preserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6