The man who loves, and loves truly, should not long permit its object to remain in any doubt of his feelings and intentions. The price for ignoring or distorting the body’s messages is being unable to detect what is truly dangerous or harmful for you and, just as bad, what is safe or nourishing. Self-regulation depends on having a friendly relationship with your body. Without it you have to rely on external regulation—from medication, drugs like alcohol, constant reassurance, or compulsive compliance with the wishes of others. Heart-sickness is the worst kind of sickness. Real love can only arise where there is either a void in the heart. A true hearted lover forgets all trespasses, and a smile cureth the wounding frown because real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 15

For too long, my fears, anxieties, and loss of my social network has made me avoid anything that could possibly pierce those layers of pain. I pushed my awareness deep underground, but after a while, one has to glimpse the possibility of allowing some light to enter the shadowy World. Believe that you can get beyond the pain of your past. Sometimes people are not able to love you the way you would like them to because they lack the understanding to show love and are clouded in darkness of their own, which has caused their hearts to become callous. When a person’s heart is not open, they lack the consciousness to be aware, but that does not mean that they have stopped loving you. Lovers are wholly destitute of conscience, magnanimity, common sense, and ordinary courtesy. Why is it that the noblest of our passions should be also the most selfish? #RyanPhillippe 2 of 15

Somatic symptoms for which no clear physical basis can be found are ubiquitous in traumatized children and adults. They can include chronic back and neck pain, fibromyalgia, migraines, digestive problems, spastic colon/irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, and some forms of asthma. Traumatized children have fifty times the rate of asthma as their nontraumatized peers. Studies have shown that many children and adults with fatal asthma attacks were not aware of having breathing problems before the attacks and when they get upset, sometimes it is too late to reach the inhaler, and they end up going to the hospital. The learned compute that seven hundred and seven million of millions of vibrations have penetrated the eyes before the eyes can distinguish the tints of a violet. What philosophy can calculate the vibrations of the heart before it can distinguish the colors of love?  #RyanPhillippe 3 of 15

Alexithymia is a Greek word, which means not having words for feelings. Many traumatized children and adults simply cannot describe what they are feeling because they cannot identify what their physical sensations mean. Sometimes they get reminders of a specific situation or episodes where they get tingling and numbing sensations shivering vertically down their bodies and have to try and remain in the present. They may look furious but deny that they are angry; they may appear terrified but say that they are fine. Not being able to discern what is going on inside their bodies causes them to be out of touch with their needs, and they have trouble taking care of themselves, whether it involves eating the right amount at the right time or getting the sleep they need. Is being in love anything beyond being very found, and very silly, and with a little touch of melancholy? #RyanPhillippe 4 of 15

Keep to your caste; and be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised. No man can paint a distress well which he doth not feel while he is painting it; the most pathetic and affecting scenes have been writ with tears. Alexithymics substitute the language of action for that of emotion. When asked, “How would you feel if you saw a truck coming at you at eighty miles per hour? Most people would say, “I would be terrified” or “I would be frozen with fear. An Alexithymic might reply, “How would I feel? I do not know…I would get out of the way.” They tend to register emotions as physical problem rather than as signals that something deserves their attention. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 15

Instead of getting angry, Alexithymic people experience muscle pain, bowel irregularities, or other symptoms for which no cause can be found. About three quarters of patients with anorexia nervosa, and more than half of all patients with bulimia, are bewildered by their emotional feelings and have great difficulty describing them. When researched showed pictures of angry or distressed faces to people with alexithymia, they could not figure out what those people were feeling. Many of these people are professionally successful, but their relationships are bleak and distant. Suppressing their feelings have made it possible to attend to the business of the World, but at a price. They learned to shut down their once overwhelming emotions, and, as a result, they no longer recognized what they were feeling. Few of them had an interest in therapy. Nature has formed our ears open; but enabled us to shut up our mouths. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 15

Cease to be astonished, and only learn to love—an important lesion, and one not too well learned. Trisdale, was a talented writer, suffered a traumatic loss when someone he loved died while he was only twelve. He was a lost adolescent with no one available to take the place of his warm, loving father. Everyone else was too involved in their own lives and situations to be able to help him. He retreated from close relationships, and found comfort in the World he created. On the surface, Trisdale seemed surprisingly resilient, enjoying precocious success at fifteen when he published his first story. He published his first novel a few years later, and another right after that. To bury oneself in wood and wilds consists in nothing more than flying from those enemies we have not the courage to encounter. How much superior is the life of him who lives in the midst of vice and temptation, uncontaminated by example, untainted by the sad influence of the age! #RyanPhillippe 7 of 15

There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with the color, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life’s sores, the better. Life is not governed by will or intention. Trisdale was not only a successful writer, he was also handsome, charming, and happy in the company of his friends, father, and family. His loneliness was hidden at a deep level where he longed for a fulfilling, passionate relationship. Trisdale was clueless about how to change his life and equally clueless about the roots of his distancing. The neglect fact can play a major role in his current challenges, as his long and continuous experience is spent alone and writing. Because Trisdale had trouble sensing what was going on in his body, he lacked a nuanced response to frustration. He would either react to stress by becoming spaced out. Whatever his response, he could not tell what was upsetting him. This failure to be in sync with his body contributed to the well documented lack of self-protection and high rates of revictimization and also his difficulties feeling pleasure, sensuality and having a sense of meaning. A true lover’s blood is always at his finger’s end. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 15

In love one letter is of more force than a thousand looks. Trisdale had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by vivisecting others. Human life—that appeared to him the one thing worth investigating. Compared to it there was nothing else of any value. People with alexithymia can get well only by learning to recognize the relationship between their physical sensations and their emotions, much as colorblind people can only enter the World of color by learning to distinguish and appreciate shades of gray. Most, however, do not do that. Many people seem to have made an unconscious decision that it is better to keep visiting doctors and treating ailments that do not heal than to do the painful work of facing the demons of the past. I do not know what I am feeling, it is like my head and body are not connected. I am living in a tunnel, a fog, no matter what happens it is the same reaction—numbness, nothing. My brain does not feel.  #RyanPhillippe 9 of 15

There is nothing so good as a voyage to England to cure a love fit. Some people could not tell if they were being burned at the stake, having cake in the ocean, or being assaulted. The more people are out of touch with their feelings, the less activity they had in the self-sensing areas of the brain. Depersonalization is common during traumatic experiences. I was once mugged late at night in a park close to my house and, floating above the scene, saw myself lying in the snow with a small head wound, surrounded by three knife-wielding teenagers. I dissociated the pain of their stab wounds on my hands and did not feel the slightest fear as I calmly negotiated for the emptied wallet. Traumatized people are not so fortune and feel separated from their bodies. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 15

One particularly good description of depersonalization comes from German psychoanalyst Paul Schilder:  To depersonalized individual the World appears strange, peculiar, foreign, dream-like. Objects appear at times strangely diminished in size, at times flat. Sounds appears to come from a distance…The emotions likewise undergo marked alternation. Patients complain that they are capable of experiencing neither pain nor pleasure…The have become strangers to themselves. I was fascinated to learn that a group of neuroscientists at the University of Geneva had induced similar out-of-body experiences by delivering mild electric current to a specific spot in the brain, the temporal parietal junction. In one patient this produced a sensation that he was hanging from the ceiling, looking down as his body; in another, it induced an eerie feeling that someone was standing behind him.  #RyanPhillippe 11 of 15

This research confirms what our patients tell us: that the self can be detached from the body and live a phantom existence on its own. Similarly, at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, brain scans were done on people who dissociated their terror and found that the fear centers of the brain simply shut down as they recall the event. And, strangely enough, here is another proof that I am superman! The platform of Notre-Dame was my favourite nook in Paris; every free afternoon I used to go up into the towers of the cathedral and there clamber about between the monsters and gargoyles. The circumstances that all the excrement vanishes so rapidly before the stream of urine corresponds to the motto: A fflavit et dissipate sunt. It was a hot Summer afternoon; in the evening, I had given my lecture om the connection between hysteria and the perversions, and everything which I had to say displeased me thoroughly, and seemed utterly valueless. I was tired; I took not the least pleasure in my difficult work, and longed to get away from this rummaging in human filth; first to see my family, then to revisit the beauties of Italy. #RyanPhillippe 12 of 15

In this mood I went from the lecture hall to a café to get some little refreshment in the open air, for my appetite had forsaken me. However, a member of my audience went with me; he begged for permission to sit with e while I drank my coffee and gulped down my roll, and began to say flattering things to me. He told me how much he had learned from me, that he now saw everything through different eyes, that I had cleansed the Augean stables of error and prejudice, which encumbered the theory of the neuroses—in summary, that I was a very great man. My mod was ill-suited to his hymn of praise; I struggled with my disgust, and went to the house earlier in order to get rid of him; and before I went to sleep, I turned over to the leaves of Rabelais, and read a short story by C. F. Meyer entitled Die Leiden eines Knaben (The Sorrows of a Boy). #RyanPhillippe 13 of 15

According to the theory of wish-fulfilment, this life situation would not have been possible had not the opposed, and indeed suppressed, yet pleasure-emphasized megalomaniac train of thought been added to the thoughts of disgust. For nothing painful is intended to be represented in the American Dream; the painful elements of our daily thoughts are able to force their way into our dreams only if at the same time they are able to disguise a wish-fulfilment. Like every other displacement, this serves the purposes of the censorship, but it is often the work of wish-fulfilment, for wish-fulfilment consists in nothing more than the substitution of an unwelcome thing by tis opposite. Just as concrete images may be transformed into their contraries in our dreams, so also may the affects is usually brought about by the dream-censorship. The suppression and inversion of affects is useful even in social life, as it is shown by the familiar analogy of the dream-censorship and, above all, hypocrisy. #RyanPhillippe 14 of 15

Love gives even to a dull man the knowledge of his lover’s heart. If I am conversing with a person to whom I must show consideration while I should like to address him as an enemy, it is almost more important that I should conceal the expression of my affect from him than that I should modify the verbal expression of my thoughts. If I address him in courteous terms, but accompany them by looks or gestures of hatred and disdain, the effect which I produce upon him is not very different from what it would have been had I cast my unmitigated contempt into his face. Above all, the, the censorship bids me suppress my affects, and if I am a master of the art of dissimulation I can hypocritically display the opposite affect—smiling where I should like to be angry, and pretending affection where I would like to destroy. Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (www.thedeedle.com) #RyanPhillippe 15 of 15