From your words, I can hear a good heart beating strongly and your ideal is glittering. If we understand that traumatized children and adults get stuck in stand your ground or quickly escape and in chronic shut-down, how do we help them to deactivate these defensive maneuvers that once ensured their survival? Dear friend, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. However, rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God (Jehovah, Allah, LORD) rests on you. Do not be ashamed, but praise God (Jehovah, Allah, LORD) that you bear that name.  Some gifted people who work with trauma survivors know how to do this intuitively. My dad used to walk around the house with a brightly colored beach ball, and when he saw his kids were angry or frozen in their bedrooms, he would flash them a big smile. We rarely responded. Then, a little later, he would return and accidentally drop his ball close to where we were sitting. As he leaned over to pick it up, my dad would nudge the colorful ball gently towards us, then we would push it back in return. Gradually, he got a back, back, forth, and forth going and before long you would see smiles on all our faces. Man is always yearning for life, and even suffering from the biggest frustration or setback you should not despair, but should ignite the fire of hope for life. #RandolphHarris 1 of 3

The civilization of youth is the civilization of struggles, which struggles with the times and experience. Youth is the king, spring and essence of one’s life—as the encouragement to us all. From simple, rhythmically attuned movements, Dad had created a small, safe place where the social-engagement system could begin to reemerge. In the same way, severely traumatized people may get more out of simply helping to arrange chairs before a meeting or joining others in tapping out a musical rhythm on the chair seats than they would from sitting in those same chairs, like they are waiting AC Transit bus 54 to Fruitvale, and discussing the failures in their life. One thing is certain: Yelling at someone who is already out of control can only lead to further dysregulation. Just as your dog cowers if you shout and wags his tail when you speak in a high singsong, we humans respond to harsh voices with fear, anger, or shutdown and to playful tones by opening up and relaxing. I love you for your absolute sincerity. Thank you for being that something of extraordinary value in my life. Thinking of you fills me with energy. We simply cannot help but respond to these indicators of safety or danger.  #RandolphHarris 2 of 3

Sadly, our educational system, as well as many of the methods that profess to treat trauma, tend to bypass this emotional-engagement system and focus instead on recruiting the cognitive capacities of the mind. Despite the well-documented effects of anger, fear, and anxiety on the ability to reason, many programs continue to ignore the requirement to engage the safety system of the brain before trying to promote new ways of thinking. The last things that should be cut from school schedules are chorus, physical education, recess, and anything else involving movement, play, and joyful engagement. When children are oppositional, defensive, numbed out, or enraged, it is also important to recognize that such bad behavior may repeat action patterns that were established to survive serious threats, even if they are intensely upsetting or off-putting. #RandolphHarris 3 of 3