To be benevolent rather than malevolent is probably a true feature of our species. Being about to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Numerous studies of disaster response around the globe have shown that the social support is the most powerful protection against becoming overwhelmed by stress and trauma. People who end up in total social isolation, because of their career, often pass away prematurely of coronary disease.  There are, however, far more subtle loneliness traps in our society. Not every lonely person is trapped by interest in a career, pursuit of independence, or a love-seeking belief system. Many lonely people are not particularly hung up about these issues. Several readily admit that they would give up anything is only they could find the right person with whom they could share their lives. And yet, they still find themselves enmeshed in isolation. Part of the problem is that a lot of individuals have very few formal institutions that deal specifically with problems of human loneliness. This is a particularly glaring weakness when one considers that there are formal institutions for practically every other human problem.

Hospitals care for the sick, school tach the uneducated, PTA groups help the schools, and so forth. On closer examination, however, it become apparent that the great majority of these organizations have a major covert prerequisite. The person must either already have companionship or declare himself sick. These covert requirements that make it difficult for those lacking companionship to find legitimate social outlets in existing groups.  Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issues is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we require a visceral feeling of safety. No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love: These are complex and hard-earned capacities. You do not require a history of trauma to feel self-conscious and even panicked at a party with stranger—but trauma can turn the whole World into a gathering of unlawful aliens. Many traumatized people find themselves chronically out of sync with the people around them. Some find comfort in groups where they can replay their combat experience, rape, or torture with others who have similar backgrounds and experiences (I guess he is making a point).

Focusing on a shared history of trauma and victimization alleviates their searing sense of isolation, but usually at the price of having to deny their individual differences: Members can belong only if they conform to the common code. Isolating oneself into a narrowly defined victim groups promotes a view of others as irrelevant at best and dangerous at worst, which eventually only leads to future alienation. Gangs, extremist political parties, dishonest city councils, and religious cults may provide solace, but they rarely foster the mental flexibility required to be fully open to what life has to offer and as such cannot liberate their members from their traumas. Well-functioning people are able to accept individual differences and acknowledge the humanity of others. In the past two decades it has become officially recognized that when adults or child(ren) are too skittish or shut down to derive comfort from human beings, relationships with other mammals can help. Dogs, birds, fish, cats, horses, and even dolphins offer less complicated companionship while providing the necessary sense of safety. Birds, dogs, and horses are now extensively used to treat some groups of trauma patients. Also, always remember to thank God (Jehovah) for your life and everyone in it, because from the beginning God (Jehovah) chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the spirit and through belief in the truth.