I had just finished a study on how trauma is remembered, in which participants repeatedly told me how upsetting it was to be suddenly hijacked by images, feelings, and sounds from the past. When several said they wished they knew what trick their brains were playing on them during these flashbacks, I asked eight of them if they would be willing to return to the clinic and lie still inside a scanner while we recreated a scene from the painful events that haunted them. To my surprise, all eight agreed, any of them expressed their hope that what we learned from their suffering could help other people. With a carefully constructed script, which recreated their trauma moment to moment, we deliberately tried to collect just isolated fragments of their experience—particular images, sounds, and feelings—rather than the entire story, because that is how trauma is experiences. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 8

During the experience, the participant where also asked to describe a scene where they felt safe and in control. One person described his morning routine of sitting on the porch of a farmhouse in Vermont overlooking the hills. The estate was private and perfectly suited at the end of a town maintained road to capture views of the Mettowee Valley and Green Mountain National Forest. It was 642 acres, which lead up to Spruce Peak, and also had a two-acre pond surrounded by pristine fenced pasturelands. The property was beautifully landscaped with gardens, an attached barn, outdoor fireplace, and a covered porch. The estate also had a separate guest house and caretaker’s quarters. But the excitement was by no means over. The estate was located at 864 Rogers Road in Rupert, VT 05768. As antiques and artifacts and artifacts arrived—so did something else. Something with an ornery desire to push people around.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 8

Ben reported inexplicable footsteps and cold air currents, and even when his parents were gone, he knew he was not along. He was sixteen years old and getting ready for bed. He heard his father and mother telling at each other, but they had just left to go into town for dinner with friends at Brasserie L’Oustau, which was a fancy French restaurant. He was frightened and his stomach was in a knot. Ben and his younger brother Justin and his sister Paris were huddled at the top of the stairs. Ben looked over the banister and could not see anything. The house was pitch black. Suddenly, they could hear crying, spitting, and hissing like an animal was in the house and distressed. His face was flushed ad he felt hot all over. Then sudden, they heard something running to the dining room, and what sounded like his fathering saying, “Bon appetite, bitch!” then sound of glass breaking. He yelled, “Stop,” and rushed down stairs to see what happened. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 8

When Ben got to the dining room and turned on the lights, he saw his mother’s antique Chinese Rose Medallion Vases had been shattered ($64,500.00). Ben quickly rushed out of the formal dining room closing the doors behind him, but as fast as it could close the door, it would fly back open. “Stop this, I don’t have time!” he shouted. It stopped, but then he heard footsteps behind him. He turned, but there was no one there. (Surely a classic case of a ghost having the last word.) Then heard someone run upstairs and the TV breaking as it went silent. Ben’s little brother and sister hid in the closet, as he stood there frozen in fear, his heart was pounding and he suddenly started trembling, as a floozy in old fashioned finery had startled them by appearing out of nowhere, sitting down at the piano—a relic from an old whorehouse—and began to plink away. He figured that maybe the antiques were cursed and a spectral couple, a prostitute and pimp, were attached to the objects. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 8

Ben believed that the evil influence was also emanating from the house, which had belonged to a gay couple. The two had not yet married and the older gentleman, Dennis, who was 45, had suffered a heart attack, fell down the stair and busted his head. Ben figured his blood must have triggered a curse because after Dennis, died, the family took the house and kicked his younger boyfriend, Jesse, out and sold it to Ben’s parents.  The younger guy also died from a heart attack shortly after college graduation. At this first session, we explained to Ben the purpose of the radioactive oxygen the participants would be breathing: As any part of the brain became more or less metabolically active, its rate of oxygen consumption would immediately change, which would be picked up by the scanner. We would monitor their blood pressure and heart rate throughout the procedure, so that these physiological signs could be compared with brain activity. Ben explained that his life had changed from being cheerful and the life of the party into a haunted and depressed isolation filled with depression and self-blame. He moved to California because life on the ranch had become intolerable, even hiding behind his school work, he could not make it through the day. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 8

I was standing outside the scanner as Ben underwent the procedure and could follow his physiological reactions on a monitor. The moment we turned the tape recorder on, his heart started to race, and his blood pressure jumped. Simply hearing the script activated the same physiological responses that had occurred during his stay at the estate. After the recorded script concluded and Ben’s heart rate and blood pressure returned to normal, we played his second script: getting out of bed and brushing his teeth. This time his heart rate and blood pressure did not change. As he emerged from the scanner, Ben looked defeated, drawn out, and frozen. His breathing was shallow, his eyes were opened wide, and his shoulders were hunched—the very image of vulnerability and defenselessness. We tried to comfort him, but I wondered if whatever we discovered would be worth the price of his distress.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 8

When the images were composed of Ben’s brains scans during the procedure, there were some puzzling dots and colors on the scan, but the biggest area of the brain activation—a large red spot in the right lower center of the brain, which is the limbic area, or emotional brain—came as no surprise. It was already well known that intense emotions activate the limbic system, in particular an area within it called the amygdala. We depend on the amygdala to warn us of impending danger and to activate the body’s stress response. Our study clearly showed that when traumatized people are presented with images, sounds, or thoughts related to their particular experience, the amygdala reacts with alarm—even, as in Ben’s case, years after the event. Activation of this fear center triggers the cascade of stress hormones and nerve impulses that drive up blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen intake—preparing the body for fight or light. The monitors attached to Ben’s arms recorded this physiological state of frantic arousal, even though he never totally lost track of the fact that he was resting quietly in the scanner. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 8

Our most surprising finding was a white spot in the left frontal lobe of the cortex, in a region called Broca’s area. In this case, the change in color meant that there was a significant decrease in that part of the brain. Broca’s area is one of the speech centers of the brain, which is often affected in stroke patients when the blood supply to that region is cut off. Without a functioning Broca’s area, you cannot put your thoughts and feelings into words. Our scans showed that Broca’s area went offline whenever a flashback was triggered. In other words, we have visual proof that the effects of trauma are not necessarily different from—and can overlap with—the effects of physical lesions like strokes. The goal of God’s work is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Some have wandered away from these and turned to meaningless talk. They want to be teachers of the law, but do not know what they are talking about nor what they so confidently affirm. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 8