No one knows till the time comes, what depths are within them. Both fortune and misfortune have their respective places unforgettable. Whatever befalls us, we should not be overjoyed nor downcast. By getting people involved in their life experience intentionally and intelligently, we reduce the drain of their having to become involved resentfully and reactively as a result of unanticipated crises. Timing constitutes a crucial variable in routines of responding. It includes not only the developmental clock, but also the circumstantial clocks. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 12

Special circumstances call for special caring. Where loss has come, we know that holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries all act to open the floodgates of grief. These are events in which the pain and the sadness again break into consciousness. These are moments when unfinished grief work can be continued most profitably. To be present to another in those times heals far more than to be around at other times. Even in dealing with expected emergencies, we are not constricted to picking up the pieces in desperation. We are freer to work out more satisfying patterns with deliberation. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 12

People may really have in them some vocation which is not quite plain to themselves. The brain-disease model overlooks four fundamental truths: our capacity to destroy one another is matched by our capacity to heal one another. Restoring relationships and community is central to restoring well-being; language gives us the power to change ourselves and others by communicating our experiences, helping us to define what we know, and finding a common sense of meaning. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 12

We have the ability to regulate our own physiology, including some of the so-called involuntary functions of the body and brain, through such basic activities as breathing, moving, and touching; and we can change social conditions to create environments in which children and adults can feel safe and where they can thrive. You cannot be angry with others for seeing the light in which you so strongly see in yourself. Even through the darkest phase, be it thick or thin, always someone marches brave here beneath my skin, and constant craving has always been.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 12

The darkest and most contemptible ignorance is that of not knowing oneself. When we ignore these quintessential dimensions of humanity, we deprive people of ways to heal from trauma and restore their autonomy. Being a patient, rather than a participant in one’s healing process, separates suffering people from their community and alienates them from an inner sense of self. Given the limitations of drugs, I started to wonder if we could find more natural ways to help people deal with their post-traumatic responses. Justin was an appealing, but elusive young man. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 12

He really wanted a partner, but he could not seem to get anything started. When I asked Justin if he was committed to doing the work it would take for him to find a partner, he was enthusiastic. “You got it! I am going to be here, no fear. Definitely! I am going to make it to every appointment this month and next and the next. You have got my word.” Maybe a great magnet pulls all souls towards truth or maybe it is life itself that feeds wisdom to its youth. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 12

Justin was a complex person who very rarely felt comfortable inside his own skin. Generally, he was tormented by being unable to stick to any given plan. He could not follow through, whether it was a plan to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. He was reluctant to make choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for an apartment or getting a full-time job. Because of his style of restlessness and avoidance, Justin could not even get close to starting an intimate relationship. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 12

Miraculously, Justin did not do drug nor drink. However, said that he could not concentrate on one person, changing his mind every few minutes about what he wanted to do next, or thinking about someone or something else, instead of staying focused in the present moment. As soon as he settled down physically, he would begin to think of something else he should be doing instead. Because of his extreme agitation and trouble with committing to the moment, he would precipitously leave whatever he was supposed to be dong, abandoning people in his casual encounters such as coffee dates with friends. As you might imagine, his attempts to date were disastrous. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 12

It seemed clear that Justin was suffering from attention-deficit disorder and extreme anxiety, the support provided by medication and anxiety-focused behavioral modification therapy did not seem to help him approach intimacy with a partner. As I got to know Justin better, I began to understand that despite his hyperactive avoidance patterns, he had a lot going for him. He was an optimistic, loving person who sincerely wanted to find relief from the self-sabotaging behavior that kept him running in circles. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 12

Justin was capable of changing, but not until he was ready to understand how his distancing style controlled his life. It would require both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before he would be able to take his first steps in successfully challenging his relationship issues. Every man may, by examining his own mind, guess what passes in the minds of other. When you feel that your own gaiety is counterfeit, it may justly lead you to suspect that of your companions not to be sincere. Success can be ensured only when you turn your complaints of environments into the strengths to strive for the better. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 12

Self-knowledge is thought by some not so easy. Who knows but for a time you may have taken yourself for somebody else? Stranger things have happened. The nervous system retains some of the experiences it has, and this produces changes in our behavior. Maintaining what exists consumes so much energy on the part of the individual, and it takes a lot of extra energy to generate a significant system change. We have felt limitations when exposed to excessive scrutiny of others; also, each of us are unique assets. Too close association makes some kinds of confrontation more difficult. #RyanPhillippe 11 of 12

The presence of outside people quickens the brain activity and can over stimulate some, and causes concrete human pain and complicated system problems. Whereas too much abstract discussion dulls and distorts the entangling web of personal maintenance and unravels the fabric of our person requirements. The immersion in Real-World hurt sobers the romanticism of our Ideal-World hopes. Let us link the past and the future with our present paces. Let us turn life into a dream of science and then turn the dream into reality.  #RyanPhillippe 12 of 12