In my re-view of that situation, at the out of control senior citizen facility, I began seeing the facility instead of the individual seniors as the foreground. It was the pattern more than the parts. I began seeing human strength instead of damaging weaknesses as the foreground. It was the health of the people more than the hurt that could emerge. I began seeing consultation instead of treatment service as the foreground. It was Mrs. Kolk’s job more than my job. I now saw delightful sand and a proper mop and an adequate maid instead of a muddy mess and a scarcity of mops and maids. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 12

What was my new tool for this different task? How would we act differently now that we saw differently? We proceeded to arrange the senior citizens in a circle (on their chairs in the middle of the dayroom) for the last fifteen minutes of the day. The purpose: to talk together, to become more directly involved with each other as a group and as individuals, to listen to others as well as to speak oneself, to think critically, to make learning sensible by relating what was going on inside of the senior facility with what one was experiencing outside the building. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 12

Teachers often tell me, “I always have discussion with my students. What is so different about what you are proposing?” What I contend and what they fail to realize is that there are discussions and discussions. To sit in a circle is usually the first and basic difference. In the circle, everyone is on the same level and everyone can see everyone else equally well. The built-in barriers of some being higher and others lower, or some taking in more and others taking in less, are eliminated. A second crucial difference lies in the rules or logic of the discussion. Most discussions are based on the premise that there are right and wrong answers: either what you say is true or false. Circle discussion are predicated on the assumption that there are no right nor wrong answers. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 12

In the circle one is free from feeling foolish. This does not mean that one can be foolish or silly or dumb. Rather it means that one has one’s own opinions, one’s own hunches, one’s own experiences, one’s own imagining. One can identify where one is without having to be somewhere else. There are other rules for a circle meeting. Each of them is really a variation of the basic one of respecting each other and oneself. Senior citizens tend to elaborate on the rules, as people of all ages have developed commandments with their own supplementary commentary. One person talks at a time. We listen to each other. One senior came up with do not go to the bathroom in the circle meeting. He was getting the sense of attending to others at special times.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 12

Mrs. Kolk and I started circle discussions with her seniors. To give her some idea of the process, I led the first few. Soon we were alternating regularly. I would take two a week; she three. This went on for six months and some ninety meetings. At first the senior citizen man who had been throwing over throwing over tables and chairs and slamming the gate at 3am continued to do so. We would have to pick him up (literally, at times) and remove him from the circle. Occasionally, he would stay outside the door until the meeting was over. Other times we would have to take him to the office. As the weeks passed, he stayed in the circle for longer periods. When he did act up, we would day, “That is it, Jimmy. You are saying you do not want to be in the circle today. You have to leave now. We will try again tomorrow.” #RyanPhillippe 5 of 12

In setting limits, we were respecting the situation ourselves, and Jimmy. He could not handle the demands of that moment. We were saying he had made a choice—by his behavior—as to what he wanted. We were following through in a logical and dependable manner on what was understood ahead of time: if you act up, and keep everyone up all night light, slamming the gates, banging on the windows and talking to yourself outside at 3am, you cannot remain in the circle. Jimmy, thus, could experience the consequences of his choices. Yet, today’s consequences never needed inevitably to be tomorrow’s consequences. Each day was, in truth, a new day.  #RyanPhilippe 6 of 12

Gradually, Jimmy began to talk in circle. He also began to listen. He had things he wanted to discuss. He had ideas he wanted to share. The class talked about all kinds of things: monsters and motor cars, which senior men revel in; horses, with which senior women are fascinated. We also talked about problems: throwing spit balls, fighting, coming in late, talking loudly after 9pm, knocking on doors, and opening the door, and taking out their rubbish regularly. Karen kept letting her trash overflow, until she got roaches. One day the facility took that as “the building’s” problem and not simply Karen’s.” #RyanPhillippe 7 of 12

“What is the problem?” I asked.

“Karen keeps letting her rubbish over flow and attracting roaches. There are roaches everywhere like someone forgot to take the trash out.”

“It is not my fault,” Karen protested. “People keep sliding roaches under my door.”

We were shifting from the isolated individual to a systemic interaction.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 12

“Well, what can we do about it?” I responded. “You know these roaches are not just Karen’s problem. It is a problem for all of us.”

“Call pest control and maybe someone can offer to take out the trash for Karen every day.”

“If we find any roaches on the floor, we can spray them.”  #RyanPhillippe 9 of 12

Such a process combines those two basic qualities of responding: namely, caring and cognitive development. The seniors experienced themselves being attended to: they mattered, they were noticed, they were known. Equally, they found they were respected: their idea, their needs, their experiences were taken seriously and thoughtfully. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 12

As a teacher, Mrs. Kolk did not have time to give that kind of attention to twenty-six different senior citizens in isolation from each other. The presence of seven disrupting senior citizens only compounded the predicament. Most of the day, teachers must teach subject matter, even though they try to respond to individual senior citizen. However, in a circle, in ten minutes one can attend to twenty-six individuals in such a way that they each feel and know one’s attentiveness. Out of doing that day after day, the senior citizens come to know that the teacher knows they are there simply as themselves without demand, without evaluation, without qualification. #RyanPhillippe 11 of 12

Motivation means involvement. As we become involved with each other and with tasks at hand, traction comes. Life moves with more satisfaction and more significance. The World can be divided into two groups: those who are making it and those who are not; the successes and the failures. Those who experience themselves as failures hesitate and resist involvement. If they let themselves be seen—by gesture or comment—they fear that even the right thoughts and the right deeds will somehow come out wrong for them. #RyanPhillippe 12 of 12