By experiencing the pairs of opposites, suffering ceases. When distressed arises, ride opposing thoughts back into reality. By reversing instability into stability, from refusing into nonrefusing, suffering is relinquished. Through disidentification, the pairs of opposites cease their noxious effect. By reversing the pairs of opposites stability and the release of suffering are quickly achieved.  This happens very often with vocational goals. The man works year after year striving to become president of the company or become important and prominent in some other way. When he gets there, he expects to experience all the satisfaction and the glamour associated with that level of achievement: The genuflecting by employees, luxury cars, a plush office, the titles, and labels, along with the exclusive addressed. However, what he finds is all of these things are superficial. Whatever ideas, assumptions, and images have been used to construe an ongoing sense of expected reality will be projected as the life space and experience of what you believe to exist identity or self-image. What is considered reality is an image of the past that is being maintained as much as possible by selective attention. It is this projection of the past that dissolves as we express our true personality. Being present is not static and is not a circular repetition of the expected. One might experience such moments as a breaking through of energy, as freedom, or as insight and clarity. The viability of emotions of self-negativity, shame, doubt, resentment, rage, and anxiety dissolve as the self that requires these reactions and expectation no longer is maintained and carried forward. The release of that self is not the result of new beliefs, but an openness in which no predetermined belief is required or presumed. What is key to change is not new constructs for thought, but release of the thought constructs that determine reactions, feelings, and requirements for a separated self-sense. The intent to cause something to occur requires the intentional self-center. The dropping away of that basis for a familiar and anchored belief-structure is spontaneous, not a continuity or a strategy. Suffering in the form of physical tension related to self-doubt, shame, and anxiety are quite real in workaday effects.

One might find that one’s energy is so drained that there is no energy left over for one’s personal life; his relationships are impaired because he is too tired to even enjoy a favorite recreational activity. However, once we are conscious of what we are choosing, we can achieve the goals effortlessly and easily. Picture the kind of person you want to be and surrender all the negative feelings that prevent you from being that. Holding on to one’s values is essential to controlling one’s emotion and other, baser instincts. When people choose the dark side, they lose all connection to their values. However, once one connects with his values once again, including the value of a parent protecting and loving a child, he sacrifices himself to save his son and they both survive and prosper because of the loving act. This kind of cooperative process and altruistic behavior is related to the individual’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone usually associated with love and compassion. People who experience love and compassion towards others are more likely to have higher amounts of this hormone oxytocin. As a result, they are also more likely to be altruistic and cooperative to help others. It is possible that through one’s love for his father, a young man can activate whatever humanity is left in the father’s heart, which will help him. For an association to work, there usually does not need to be any vulnerability or deep self-disclosure, though it will probably function optimally if some heart is brought to it. A man also needs to develop intimacy with the younger versions of himself, recognizing them when they show up, and compassionately relating to them without losing himself in the World view. Now here we are, so close yet so far. Have I not passed the test? When will you realize, Baby, I am not like the rest? There is just one life to life and there is no time to wait.