Life is beautiful, but sometimes things do not always workout the way we plan. I have been studying psychology for a few years, and it has helped my mind develop and assisted me in becoming more expressive about my feeling, but still not getting the results I want. I used to have so much time settling into any relationship because I was always zooming around and never allowing myself to really land anywhere. When I decided to stick with the community that was those most important to me as well as the most familiar, the meeting rooms at the castle. However, I decided to practice getting closet to individuals within the community and stayed steady within those relationships rather than following my old patterns of running away the minute I began to feel I was getting to close to anyone.   #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5

After a few months, though, I discovered that I have chosen a group that was too familiar, too comfortable and that I was not really experiencing the kinds of changes I knew could lead me to greater success in establishing intimacy. And it was so frustrating because the tools I had been learning in psychology just did not seem to be working for me. For instance, I want my relationship with someone to grow, so instead of drawing closer, I pulled away, gave this person their space, and even changed my routine because I noticed this person have been getting distant. And it backfired on me. The individual I was interested in actually became frustrated and became more watchful and demanding, but we still were not spending quality time together. Sometimes it seems like giving a person space and learning to express one’s feelings does not work. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5

So I went back to the drawing board and decided to try something a bit more challenging that would allow me to develop my new skills more successfully. I looked at my list and thought again about my on-again and off-again relationships to the church community I had grown up in. I made the decision to reopen my connection with my local parish. By going back to church, I succeeded in making a big change in my relational patterns by volunteering to work with a group of church members that do outreach to inactive local parishioners to determine how the church could become more relevant in their lives. Circumstances try the metal a man is really made of. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5

As I learned to sit and really listen to the people I visited, I began to slow myself down little by little. I often went on these visits with other volunteers from the group. One of them, a man much older than me, talked to me about how long it had taken me to get to a place of real comfort in my own life. One day, I realized that I had been sitting and talking with my new friend for two hours without even feeling restless. It was a quantum leap for me to find out that I was capable of sitting for hours with another person engaged in a conversation that was personal and that also made me feel vulnerable. I began to discover that the more I practiced doing this, the more relaxed I became with everyone who crossed my path.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5

So after going through ups and downs in my relationship and realizing that no matter what I did, it was just not going to work out the way I wanted, I did not break it off, but I branched out and stayed committed. I am not sure how the person I am seeing is going to handle sharing me with the church, but we shall see. Nonetheless, I am happier because I am not longing for that missing connection of communication and fellowship. I have new friends in my life, and we talk about good things like the Bible and how to improve our community and respect others. The exciting things is that I have no idea where this adventure may take me, nor who I will find myself with as I learn to change my relationships. I just have to keep breathing! #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5