What seemed like a good idea at the time may not have turned out well. I got a phone call last night from Kadee, and she was livid! “Listen, research money is always damn tight, and there is fierce competition for every major and minor grant, so no one’s going to be able to afford to experiment with something that has no use. Get me? Now, because I am involved here, you know feeding your face at Steak ‘n Shake was something I wanted to do. I would not squander money to make a carnival freak!” A man may be as easily starved in Leadenhall Market as in the deserts of Arabia. I have heard many cry out against sin in the pulpit who yet can abide it well in the heart, house, and conversation.” Then the line went dead. What in the name of God? #RyanPhillippe 1 of 7

When you tell your kids no, sometimes they will blame you for ruining their fun. The attraction of blame arises in early childhood as a daily occurrence in the classroom, playground, and at the house among siblings. Blame is the central issue in the endless court proceedings and lawsuits that characterize our society. In truth, blame is just another one of the negative programs that we have allowed our mind to buy because we never stop to question it. Why must something always be someone’s fault? Why must the whole concept of wrong be introduced to the situation in the first place? Why must one of us be wrong, bad, or at fault? Unfortunate events may have just happened. Those grades were not good enough to go to Steak ‘n Shake.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 7

As a parent, intense feelings of fleeting age produce a frozen past, a limited future, and a crushing present when someone you loved and raised says something to hurt your feelings. One finds less and less space, more and more constriction, few and fewer resources, more and more darkness; yet all the while, one continues to experience oneself as being the same person, you see the World through their eyes and probably understand what your kid is going through better than they do. There is the baffling question when you let your kids down, “Can I have become a different person while I am still myself?” Suddenly, your life becomes a horror movie nightmare. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 7

With the experience of aging, an open life imperceptibly merges into a limited life. Whereas there is a time when there are few if any boundaries, there comes a time when there is nothing but boundaries. Abilities change, memories fade; what one has worked so hard to create is labor lost; the end is as though there has been no beginning. Even so, however limited and exiled in the present, the person I am still remains the person I was. Children have to understand that their parents have fears and concerns, too. And, when we tell them no, it is not a punishment, but for their own good. If you get an F in a college course, that means you are deficient and I cannot allow you to celebrate delinquency. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 7

College is expensive and no parent wants their child to be stuck working to low paying jobs, although if you can, more power to you. To overcome blame, it is necessary to look at the secret satisfaction and enjoyment a child gets out of self-pity, resentment, anger, and self-excuses, and to begin to surrender all of these little payoffs. My son comes up with the most absurd excuses, his neighbors were waking him up at 2am every morning for five months and he could not sleep. His back, feet, and stomach were hurting. He had a headache. The boy just wants to stay at the house, sleep late, and watch Television. He is required to move up from being a victim of his feeling.  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 7

This young man even had the nerve to tell me some crazy woman had been following him to his car and that people kept talking about his hair and pulling it. Now, I might have believed him if he was in elementary school, but college aged students do not carry on like that! Then I had my last straw, he brings my car back with a few dings in it. So I had to disassemble these excuses and to help him move out of the morass of helplessness, he cannot go anywhere until he is happy, feeling good, and gets a job. He is not even allowed to go to his mother’s house and I am restricting his phone usage. He has to overcome resistance to conform and take responsibility for his negative programs and feelings to see that he is doing this, nothing is wrong with him.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 7

It is the very nature of the smallest part of ourselves to think so negatively, so there is an unconscious tendency to agree readily to its limited viewpoint. I think he is required to become conscious of his inner greatness. It is there. Letting go of resistance is the key. Clearly, aging is a developmental process. We are born, we grow, and we mature. He assumed that he was worthless. Nonetheless, do not be too hard on your children, it could push them away. See their vulnerability, wounds, uncertainty, and subtle signals. Notice when their facial expression and energy do not match their words. Sense what he may not be saying. Sense his feeling you see in him. Make emotionally centered communication more of a priority than intellectually centered communication.  #RyanPhillippe 7 of 7