Windows allow the house its dreams. They make the house psychic, interior space. There is part of some people that wants to cling to negative emotions and make others feel like they are worthless. It is the part of human nature that is the exact opposite of forgiveness and generosity. We have to start looking for the feelings of forgiveness within ourselves and stop resisting it. Picture yourself being generous, forgiving, loving, and experiencing your inner greatness. Instantly, there will be an enormous increase in muscle strength indicating a surge in beneficial bio-energy. Letting go of negative feelings can be accompanied by another very healthy maneuver which will greatly assist your inner transformation, and that is to stop resisting the good emotions.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 10

Metal doors are absolute barriers, which are primarily defenses. Some people initially confront us with negative feelings. The person stands away from us, wanting to be hostile and distant. Aloofness, lack of identification, and alienation characterize the love dimension. What could be more unsettling than a move against or apart from us. That makes us feel disliked or unloved. A good  and very illuminating exercise is to sit down and look at the feeling that is directly opposite the negative one that we are experiencing and begin letting go of resistance. Part of human nature is that it is always willing to forgive, but some people think they might appear slow. Nonetheless, by holding resentment, you are actually suppressing love.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 10

The person stands against us even as he or she acknowledges our power and strength are doing so out of resentment, cynicism, defiance, and bitterness characterized by the power dimension. Our strength is conceded, but our stewardship of that power is questioned. We are set up and knocked down simultaneously. That makes us feel inadequate and unworthy. The distrustful, hostilely dependent person is always saying something like this to us and the World: “I know you are wrong, you son of a bitch! You can’t do anything right; you are always letting me down. Why do you always ignore my rights and overlook my needs? What kind of man are you anyway?” Such persons want to remain the everlasting brat—critically infantile forever. Their behavior is intended to produce, elicit, and provoke from others strong rejection and punishment. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 10

These persons are expressing intense distrust. They experience themselves as victims, violated both by significant persons in their World and by the impersonal structures in which they find themselves. I met a man once whose erectile capacity was completely destroyed by a spinal-cord injury in the precise region of the lower spine where erectile function is controlled. Although he could not get his penis aroused, he certainly had no trouble getting it on! I have often wondered if his acquired status of highly desired lover had something to do with his discovery that erections are not essential to meaningful Netflix and Chill function. Without imagination, windows are no more than holes in the wall.  When there are smaller panes rather than sheets of glass, house and window are intimately intermingled.  Then the window does not forget that it belongs to the house and that it is the servant of the house’s soul. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 10

Others are blamed for their misery. Such persons are always throwing distractive action or commentary into every situation they are involved in to hurt as many people as possible. We can count on their criticism, their challenge of the commonly accepted and understood, and their complaints about the mishandling of every circumstance. My, friend who I will call Jess, has been struggling ten years to accept herself as a lesbian. She was tired of dating men, but found that a special, meaningful feeling was missing. She came out at work and to her Italian Catholic family and became involved in gay rights activities. She had many relationships with women that did not workout. Rather than seeking sympathy, she stressed her grievances against me. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 10

By acting defiantly dependent, one reduces the anxiety and uncomfortableness of having to be close and responsible. In other word, the hostilely dependent person does not want tender loving care. The expression of sullen disappointment is designed precisely to protect one against such responsiveness. Then Jess met Denise. She like her, respected her, and was very attracted to her. She was looking for a long-term relationship, and the compatibilities and feelings were right. Netflix and Chill function was great until Denise told Jess she loved her. Jess flashed, and told Denise to “Get the fuck out!” Jesse was out to put Denise down while, at the same time, making her feel attacked and undermined. The behavior is an appeal of anger. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 10

Instead of moving toward some compromise, the couple may polarize in opposite directions. The seeking of retaliation and distrust, obviously, is not usual. The exaggerated seeking of distant domination creates the vortex of hostilely dependent personality. Couples who start out with a healthy sexual interest in each other, even if one has a stronger sex drive, you may agree who is in charge of that area of your lives. In the early stages of the relationship, that worked very well for Brenda because she enjoyed the sex. However, Scott was in control and Jesse started to complain, and he was driven by his own interest to pry open the back doors. Scott paid less attention to Jess’s needs and she began losing interest in sex because it became a source of intense embarrassment.  #RyanPhillippe 7 of 10

Jess had become more passive and unresponsive during sex, and Scott grew more frustrated. He pressed on for physical sexual satisfaction because he was getting less and less emotional satisfaction from lovemaking. In the long run, a sexual small difference in sexual drive and interest became a big incompatibility. Jess, during intercourse one night said, “Back up off me! I have been disappointed and disillusioned by the World; there is nothing you can do for me. It is useless to collaborate because people cannot be trusted. I’m not like you and there is no way you could understand. The way things are done is wrong; everything you try only makes matters worse.”  The personality, needs, and intentions of the dominant person are impugned and undermined. The individual delights in challenging what is generally accepted. He or she contests whatever comes along so intensely that there is little possibility for any kind of cooperation or collaboration.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 10

When sexual activity includes fear of sex and a compelling desire to avoid sexual situations, this is considered sexual aversion disorder. Sexual aversion can range from feelings of discomfort, repulsion, and disgust to extreme, irrational fear of sexual activity. Even the thought of sexual contact and result in intense anxiety and panic. Because of the distantly critical cynicism, spontaneity and surprise are virtually eliminated from the relationship. All the matters is one’s own protection against being close and responsible. Precisely become one is both distrustful and defiant, others are expected to be unreliable and rejecting. As this fear comes up and is let go, one becomes aware of the fact that one has a desire to do the very thing that one fears. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 10

SECRETS AND LIES

With the emergence of this compassion toward others, there is a loss of self-consciousness. Jess was able to realize that lingering feelings of her mother’s disapproval had stopped her cold from allowing herself to be fully happy and complete in a “queer” relationship. She worked through those feelings and is now enjoying her Netflix and Chill function in a loving committed relationship for the first time and with another woman, Detective Andrea Cornell. Sexual partners usually have discrepancies in their preferences for amount, type, and timing of sexual activities. Sometimes the relationship can accommodate these individual differences. However, when sexual differences are a source of significant conflict or dissatisfaction, a couple can experience considerable discomfort. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 10