STOP! STOP! STOP! One has to be a bit dramatic in situations where people play dumb and will not take responsibility for their actions. There has to be something forceful enough to arrest the pressure. Come on, now. Here I am and here you are. We are both here in this safe place [and I am giving you accurate empathy and unconditional beneficial regard and all that stuff]. Just talk with me as an old friend. Your words come across as mechanical, lifeless, empty. I have to interrupt this defensive pattern, being tough enough to stop maladaptive behavior, is seldom easy.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 6

All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. That uncreative suffering is what Paul (2 Corinthians 7:10) would call Worldly sorrow in contrast to Godly sorrow. Worldly sorrow means endless turmoil without healing. Godly sorrow means suffering that makes for healing. To stop aggression one must be aggressive in an aggressively nonaggressive way. To explode apathy, one must be indifferent in an apathetically nonapathetic way. The only way out of extreme withdrawnness is via angry outburst. Am I tough enough to have my path go against others?  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 6

Do I have enough identity and integrity of my own not to be downcast by others’ depression nor sucked in by others’ dependency nor frightened by others’ anxieties? In other words, are my ego boundaries clear enough that I can stand against others’ ego boundaries (or lack thereof)? Am I humble enough to help? Do I have enough life of my own so that I do not need to exploit the lives of others? That is, am I big enough not to have to be all? So many people play God so much of the time they end up being the devil. We must continually pray: Forgive us our possessing as we forgive those who have tried to possess us. Am I humble enough to know that my life is never big enough to bear the full weight of others’ lives?  #RyanPhillippe 3 of 6

Can I allow others to fail without having it undermine my own life? Can I allow others to find their own satisfaction without having to draw upon that for my own satisfaction? If I may need to help others is a disguised expression of my own uncertainties, then I exploit others by making the into extensions of myself. I use them to support me and my needs. Thus, I have to ask whether I can genuinely free others from my own emotions and prejudices. Can I allow others the freedom to be who they are and to become what they intend? My way can never be the way. My reality is always so much less than the larger reality of which I am only part of. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 6

A major trap in our desire to help is that of helping too much. One of the conditions under which help can be given must be that the helper does not too passionately wish to give it. This does not mean that [one] is indifferent or does not care. It means that [one] cares so much that the help given is real help that [one] will not insist on it being given when it is inappropriate. I must give up moving into another’s life-space. Present reality is crucified for the sake of an unknown future reality. I am to give up my need to be needed. I am to let go of my desire for others to be like me. I am to decrease that others may increase. My movement is to be apart from the movement of others. I am to be faithful even as I do not allow myself to be mastered. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 6

One should learn to consider the beautiful heart more valuable than the figure. If one meets someone with a beautiful heart, one should love him. Growth never comes at the same rate or in the same way for every person. So our paths intersect and our paths move against each other and our paths move apart. When I think of you, I remember many beautiful dreams we wove together. We can be grateful when physical closeness changes into personal presence. We now what it is to be together. We then can become those selves which we truly are. To respond is to be real. To be real is to ready all of oneself for what life calls forth. What matters most, in the end, is maintaining an active, thoughtful stance toward what is happening in life. We are to be receptive actively, taking in the truth of situations. We are to live and respond in the faith.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 6