When you are a child, adults allow you to play because it has at least two functions. The first is simply enjoyment for its own sake. Secondly, play enables us to learn patterns of enjoyment that continue through life, changing only in the forms or rules of the game. Of course, being able to play is an indication that you are relatively free of inhibitions, restraints, hang-ups, or fears. If you see this freedom as beneficial, as an indicator of liking yourself, it can have all sorts of wonderful carry-overs into your attitudes about yourself as an adult. Liking yourself tends to have a snowballing effect: it builds on itself, just as disliking or hating yourself can do. From eternity to eternity, my life flows along its way of peace and harmony. Time brings but more glory to crown me with its pleasures. My life is forever. Perhaps you read the last paragraph and smiled, saying grimly, “Yeah, I remember the fun I has as a kid. However, I had to grow up!” Emphasis on that “had to” quality is important here. It means “growing up” was not just a natural process of maturing and developing. Somehow, the idea was communicated to you that childhood is one thing, and adulthood something entirely different. The difficulties many of us have in letting go and relaxing, playing and enjoying, often come from that very fact. As a child, I thought, felt, played, and did as a child. However, now I am at a different stage, in a different segment of life, a different World. I have to give up immature behaviors and so things as adults do. #RandolphHarris 1 of 3

I see no evil; I behold only the good. I have seen the drunkard lying in the gutter, and the saint kneeling in ecstasy before the high altar of his faith; but I have found no difference. I see no evil; I behold only the good. I have seen the drunkard lying in the gutter, and the saint kneeling in ecstasy before the high altar of his faith; but I have found no difference. I have perceived that each, in his own tongue, is seeking to express the one life. I will not separate and divide; I cannot condemn nor censure, for I know that there is but one in all. I know and love all. When there is reason to think that we are appreciated, job satisfaction is usually high; whereas the greatest sources of stress in the workplace is the feeling that no one is interested in supporting our goals. Infighting among coworkers, inability to communicate with superiors and subordinates are the bane of most jobs. The core of interpersonal conflicts is the often the excessive concern for oneself, and an inability to pay attention to the requirements of others. It is sad to see how often individuals ruin a relationship because they refuse to recognize that they could serve their own interest best by helping others achieve their goals. Cutting through this bind begins with developing compassion for our weaknesses, viewing them not as liabilities, but as gold that just requires a little polishing. Consider emotional literacy, an essential part of authentic relational intimacy.  #RandolphHarris 2 of 3

We may know that we lack in it—being far from at home with our emotions—but once we stop shaming ourselves for this lack, and view it with some compassion, we can begin working with it, honoring ourselves for being beginners, rather than shaming ourselves for not already being competent in this area. As part of our learning here, we can take a fresh look at our history with emotional know-how, seeing how it very likely was given no significant priority at home or school.  We probably were preoccupied with other seemingly more relevant hurdles than knowing our emotions, such as getting better grades or toughening up or impressing our social circle. It is very helpful to realize that the things we are required to do to have better relationships are the very things we are required to do to further our own growth and evolution. There are such riches in genuinely caring for other people and in doing things to facilitate mutual respect. When individuals feel as if they belong, they are able to provide support and help to other members of society. It matters to the young man who is isolated at home, but finds camaraderie at a park. It matters to the father who is trying to the father who is trying to find a way to bond with his growing son, and one of the few things they agree on is to watch 2 Broke Girls together. We are so fortunate as a society to have outstanding people who care about the goals and feelings of others.  Strength and drive beneficially coexist with transparency, vulnerability, and emotional literacy. #RandolphHarris 3 of 3