A force that could result in some of the deepest and most intimate joys of life has been taken over and manipulated by outside interests. With most others, sexuality is encouraged so that people channel their psychic energy into consumption that gives them the illusion of sexual fulfillment. However, with others, in an antiquated fashion, celibacy, virginity, and virtue are seen as gravely important, and to indulge in pleasures of the flesh is made to see as if it is punishable by death. This used to be the norm, in antiquated cultures, mostly for young women, but also for young men. It is as these youths are largely a service of economic or political alliances, and because they depend on their parents for inheritance and status, the conditions of equality and reciprocity that make friendships possible are lacking.  Even in modern times, in certain cultures, “irregular” sexual activity is condemned. Some men are vigorously counselled to conserve vital health by avoiding fornication, masturbation, and nocturnal emissions, and by rationing sex within marriage because it could cause physical and mental disorders. To protect virtue, some young men were excluded from the sexual realm.  

This was most during Victorian America, but there are still families like this around today. There is a man who does not want his son around anyone because he feels the young man may engage in sexual acts, nor does he want the appearance that may suggest something sexual is going on, so he makes his son stay indoors, keep to himself and only go out for exercise. His son is not even allowed to visit family members often, nor have frequent phone conversation. No one knows why the father is so strict in regard to keeping his children celibate, but others know how serious the father is, and so to stress him out, for fun, people make up lies and say that his son is out having sex, when he is in bed, alone and sleep. The parents go as far as to randomly stop by, call at late hours of the night and do inspections to make sure no sexual activity is taking place. He is not even allowed to touch himself in a sensual way. His energy is way too strong for it to be used in an improper manner. This is such a contrast to modern culture. Many people believe in free sex, and sex is used to sell things from music to deodorants, cars and even soft drinks. The modern family, with all of its problems, opens up new possibilities for optimal experiences that are much more difficult to come by in previous times and for some cultures of today. 

The family of the Victorian times is only one of many possible alternatives. It is almost like this family has time traveled from another century and been planted in 2016. The Roman family is a very different social arrangement from modern American families, the patriarch had the legal right to kill his children if they displeased him, and biological descent mattered almost as much as it did for later aristocratic families of the nineteenth century. And these variations are still in practice. Conservatives who aim to uphold family values, still use these conventional patterns enshrined in what some would call archaic times. Marriage is such a complex institution in all societies. The negotiation involved in it, which were intended to guarantee that children born of the union would remain private. The bride and groom took on the responsibility of supporting and training the offspring of the union, both in terms of material requirements and of socialization into community values and rules. The family is based on the Middle Ages (5^th to 15^th Century). The father is down-to-Earth and noted for his plain speech. He believes in wearing uniform or plain clothes.  

It seems to me that is we are going to live sanely, then we must respect and be sensitive to differences, realizing that no two individuals are alike, and that if we really understand someone, we understand how he differs from us. It would be ideal if society could become flexible enough to allow individuals increasing latitude in playing out the expectations of their culture. In other words, the social engineering process is required to be much geared toward helping each individual develop his own humanness. We must recognize our own requirements for self-expression, uniqueness, novelty, and creative experience, even when these conflict with the society’s requirements as some see them. This will mean some radical changes in the social institutions, which for too long have demanded conformity to an external system and denied the validity of individual experience.