If you are really honest with yourself, you may discover that you just do not like taking new relational risk, period, whether in a group or not. There are plenty of reasons why you might want to end the journey you have been on right now and try to convince yourself that you can live with everything in your relationship domain staying the same. As you know, the forces that shape our individual ways of approaching intimacy and challenge our comfort with intimacy are very powerful. It makes sense that if we risk new ways of connecting, we risk being vulnerable to old pain. No one is to blame for suffering an evil one cannot avoid. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 10

Deep unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state. We could be badly disappointed, hurt, betrayed, or trapped all over again. The temptation to stay away from such risks is often very strong and that is why some avoid new relationships. If an individual keeps experiencing unpleasant responses to its actions, eventually, it will just give up and stop trying to change its situation: this is the condition called learned helplessness. He that dedicates his days to an endless sorrow is the worst and most degraded of suicides. The worst of certainties is better than suspense. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 10

A man may be puffed and belauded, envied, ridiculed, counted upon as a tool and fallen in love with, or at least selected as a future husband, and yet remain virtually unknown—known merely as a cluster of signs for his neighbors’ false suppositions. Our learned helplessness is another reason we may choose the misery we know rather than risk a new experience that potentially could lead to humiliation, heartbreak, or suffering. One could get into this mode and become very comfortable with it because of their repetitive experiences of relational failures. It becomes habitual to give up and stop trying just as soon as we sense a shadow of anticipated pain. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 10

Another reason to avoid taking action might be the belief that you already know all there is to know about yourself; you absolutely are sure about the parameters of what you like and do not like, what you will and will not do, what works and what does not work. However, even though these notions may seem completely logical and sensible, the belief that you have nothing new to learn about yourself come from a place of fear. Fear transforms the creatures of the Word and the craft of man, making that which is ugly, seemly in our eyes, and that which is beautiful, unsightly. The present evil we dread is always the worst.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 10

Although there are, of course, some things you do know definitively about yourself—for example, you know you do not want to go hang gliding, attend a ghost story show, live in a haunted hotel, nor live in a thatched hut with a materialistic harlot—there are also many things you have not explored that could enrich your life and teach you new relational skills. Keep in mind that you do not really know how a new venture might turn out once you have the right preparation and new rationale for giving someone who loves you a chance. Happy is the man who knows his follies in his youth. Cease to be astonished, and only learn to love—an important lesson. The love of God binds me to itself, and will not let me go. I shall make a home for you, my wonderful love, and we shall journey through life hand in hand. I shall sit in your presence and learn the wondrous thing you will teach me. You will tell me; for you are God. #RyanPhillipe 5 of 10

I used to be so happy, but without you here I feel so low. I watched you as you left, but I can never seem to let you go because once upon a time you were my everything. It is clear to see that time has not changed a thing. It is very deep inside me, but I feel there is something you should know, I will never forget you, and you will be by my side always. From the day I met you, I knew that I would love you until the day I die. And I will never want much more and in my heart I will always be sure I will never forget you. Remember, this is your show. You can start out with whatever experiments for exploring you feel the most comfortable with. You can make this a slow process. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 10

You do not have to push yourself into doing anything that feels too big and unmanageable. Think of yourself as a scientist researching and developing new aspects of yourself. Let your curiosity lead you. You have learned some new skills and let them help you try out new situations and new ways of being close to others. Quiet your mind and body and focus on the present moment. Instead of jumping off into the unknown, or anticipating imagined failures in a new role, just stay remind yourself to stay in the present moment. Focus on your breathing and observe any details around you that will help you to center yourself in the now. You do not have to race forward nor recall past mistakes, disappointments, humiliations, nor pain. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 10

Began to deepen your awareness of your patterns in intimate relationships. You will find that you can move oneself into just about any new situation with composure and a sense of calmness—if you focus on what you enjoy about your new situation, and this will settle you down and allow peace and harmony to enter your life. It is like managing pain. We know the secret of keeping pain from becoming unbearable is to contain it from its inception rather than toughing it out and letting it jump off the Richter scale. You have the skills to heal and allow another being to love you and care for your emotional requirements. Calm your mind and focus on the present moment. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 10

When you find yourself starting to make negative judgments against either yourself or others, then express to them what they are doing to upset your or worry you and ask them if they can help you come to a way to resolve the situation. Do not force yourself to think good thoughts, just let them know so doubt does not build up and come breaking in like a White Squall, and submerge your Albatross. Do some vigorous exercise that will get your heart pumping. When you finish exercising, you will then enter the situation in a significantly calmer physical state, which will also change your body chemistry sufficiently to calm your mind. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 10

Try to break the train of thought that takes you down the mental path of dread of negative energy. You can change your mental channel by calling your spouse, taking a hot shower or bath, with that good smelling soap, or listening to music you like. Work at an activity that gets your body into sync with your mind like gardening. You could also write a letter about what you are feeling, but do not include anything that might be considered dangerous, you do not want to get in trouble. However, it is natural to want to be loved and respected by those we love and respect. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 10