The wisdom of Love, the highest wisdom ever known upon this Earth. God’s rarest blessing is a good woman. Women are people brimful of courage. Theirs is not exactly the same characteristics as manly courage; that would never do, hang it all: we should have to give up trampling on them. No; it is a vicarious courage. Nothing can exceed the resolution with which they have been known to send forth men to battle; les femmes sont tres braves avec le peau d’autruit. Women are wonderfully quick scholars under ridicule, though it half-kills them. The ways of women, that they all worship strengthen in whatever form and seem to know it to be the child of Heaven. It can sometime seem as if people are doomed to repeat the worst experiences of their childhood in their adult relationships. This can leave some completely confused, wondering if they are once again the victim of neglect, abuse, or whether they become the victimizer when one unintentionally harms those we love.

Men are made to be managed, and women are born managers. Women are more innocent than men because of their education. There are many different ways that past relationships can leave their mark on you. The repetition of being one who feels repeatedly rejected in relationships may create a self-image of “victim” that clouded the underlying distancing issues some carried with them into each relationship. When she first began to watch herself distancing from Warren, Elle grew more and more self-blaming. She had fled from her first marriage to escape the burden of being forced to be a mother to her husband. Her leaving reinforced her growing imagine of herself as hard-hearted and unfair. However, she had not adequately resolved her decision to leave her first marriage, so her self-blame became almost immobilizing as she felt herself pulling away from Warren. The fear of beginning a new relationship can become greatly intensified by failed relational attempts. Some people react to failed relationships by becoming more extreme in their avoidance patterns. Others subsequent partners or would-be partners. Women are used to real suffering, and want to be living instead of enduring pain and supporting a dysfunctional coward.

Elle had been emotionally scarred by her early adult experience of an assault in college, at a frat party, where she was underdressed. When she tried to date, she was so afraid of seeming vulnerable that she hid behind her school work and community service. Otherwise, no one was able to interact with her. One young man did manage to get a bit closer than anyone ese, partly due to his own ambivalent and charming relationship style. He would do sweet things like asking her where she wants to go and let her know that he just wanted her to be comfortable. He even told her, I will always be right here for you. When Elle began to allow herself to risk a relationship with him, he suddenly disappeared, which left her feeling even more vulnerable and mistrustful. Unfortunately, love as a motive of action for Elle, was a tyrant. She considered the female’s lunacy and suicide. The idea of a pretty woman exercising her mind independently, and moreover moving him to examine his own, made him smile. Could a sweet-faced girl originate a sentence that would set him reflecting? He was unable to forget it, though he allowed her no credit for it.