Many of us have felt our hearts sink, as if pressed by some crushing weight, after the loss of loved ones. Loneliness is not only pushing our culture to the breaking point, but it is also forcing our physical health to the breaking point, and indeed has in many cases already destroyed the human heart by causing people to grow cold. I finally realized that I have been distancing myself from love for a long time. The lack of emotional involvement is the very essence of marital swinging, or as it is sometime called co-marital sex.

It is possible that the very notion of marriage and the family will soon be outdated. Marriage by contract, renewable every three to five years, only upon the mutual consent of both partners, is seriously predicted by many lawyers. Also, divorce, infidelity, and marital swinging may have detrimental effects on the health.  In an endless variety of verbal and nonverbal dialogues with others, we have learned that human beings have different, and at times profound, effects on the cardiac systems of other human beings.

Human companionship could alter the heart; physicians were already well aware of its influence. Human interactions normally alter the heart in ways that range from barely detectable, transient reactions to changes that are profound—even deadly. Like the air we breathe, heart break is much like inhaling bleach—it can cause your hear to stop beating, but not like a heart attack, it simply hardens and shuts down, as you can barely grasp for air. The lack of love, the threatened loss of love, the fear of rejection, or indeed real loss of love can cause this.

Apparently, a peculiar type of intellectual schizophrenia exists between common sense and scientific attitudes when the human heart is considered. How could someone rip a loving couple apart? I became increasingly despairing about the hand life had dealt me, doubting that I would every experience genuine openness and trust—leaving deep emotional scars on my body that were caused by fear, betrayal, and mistrust. However, you spoke me and told me not to stop pursuing you because you were interested in making the relationship last.

We are learning to skillfully negotiate the pitfalls of love, to accept that we are required to maneuver our partners without appearing to push them. I am trying to coax you out of the uncommunicative social media cave. From my research, I have learned that it is a good idea to involve your family, friends, and the community, no matter which one of us has something we are having trouble or a good time with.

When your relationships are out and the open and established, they will last longer, and that is why I am talking to your people. I want them to accept me and see that I am also their friend, and not trying to take you away from them. I want them to be part of our life as a couple. That way you never lose touch with who you are and where you come from.

It really does take a village to help transform couple relationships and to guide those who are still searching for love. You are not alone. Like me, you have tried for a long time to ignore the voice of your heart, the small voice the makes you feel hungry, empty, and scared, telling you that you are missing out on something essential to your happiness. You pushed the disappointment so far in the back of your mind that you turned it into anger so you could move on, yet you kept wondering why the partner you are still hoping to find has not appeared yet.

Sometimes listening to your friends about love is a bad idea. You have to make love on your own so you do not feel shut down or unsatisfied in some deep place. Love, much like that park, is a landscape open for you—trust me on this. Not everyone can see it as you do. You are willing to try something new, and that is all you require—willingness, and a map of the castle you are about to explore. You will discover that you can leave loneliness, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, and hunger behind, and become a successful participant in a satisfying, monogamous, eternal, joyful relationship.

You are fully competent, intelligent, and capable of becoming more connected and emotionally open to my hears, without risking having your heart broken. I know this. This is my story, too. I promise you that you can survive the vulnerability of opening to love, you may feel skeptical about trying something new. However, there is nothing new for you to learn about finding and keeping the love and intimacy you want. Just be there for me and I will reciprocate the favor.

God, as a Heavenly Dictator—wants us to love each other, that is why we are in each other’s lives. There is some invisible force that is pulling us together and warming our bodies, taking us to higher thoughts and nobler deeds. May you discard all of your sigh and sadness into the furnace of life to cast golden hope. May your dream come true in the new year! Open the window of Winter quietly to send you a message. Are you well and I am missing. Live on, that is my wish for you.