If I loved, I should love at once and without change. Avoidance-avoidance conflict is psychological conflict that results when a choice must be made between two undesirable alternatives. Well, in 2006, we went to China. When it was finally times to come home, I did not want to return. I wanted to stay in China and make a living for myself. I traveled to several cities, but Shanghai was one of my favor. You could find barber shops open at 3am in the morning, it was fast pace, and the people were friendly.

However, I had run out of money and we were a few hours away from boarding out plane. I was going to ditch the group and stay. I called home and asked my parents to send me more money, but they told me to come home. So I had to leave behind a fast pace life and come back to America. This was avoidance-avoidance conflict because I could not stay in China without money and did not want to return to America. However, coming back to America was the most reasonable thing to do.

Approach-avoidance conflict occurs when an individual is faced with a decision to pursue or avoid something that has advantages and disadvantages. This form of conflict involves only one goal. The advantages of the goal make the person want to approach the goal and the disadvantages make one want to avoid the goal. Well, I am trying to open my own business and my equipment was starting to wear out when an investor gave me a loan.

The loan was attractive because I would replace my computer, and buy new materials. However, loans some with interest and my business may never turn a profit so taking on debt does not guarantee that my business will ever turn a profit, and then I have to pay all the money back regardless of what happens. This means I am taking a risk, and it may not pay off financially. So I could have just quit, but decided it would be better to accept the loan and take a chance.

Approach-approach conflict is when an individual is faces with the necessity of making a choice between two (or more) desirable goals. Since both goals are desirable, this is the least stressful situation out of the three patterns of conflict. Well, I have changed my lifestyle and have been eating healthier green vegetables and getting more exercise. So to treat myself, for dessert I wanted to get something sweet. My options were either a doughnut or slice of New York cheese cake. Both are really nice options, but cheese cake is a little richer and filling, so I selected the cheese cake, over the doughnut, as a reward.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences at times. Many people feel anxious, or nervous, when faced with a problem at work, before enrolling in college, or when making an important decision. Well, I am a freelance journalist, and there was a protest going on at City Hall, involving people who have no place to live. I wanted to document the situation, but as a rule, I do not take pictures of people who live on the streets.

So I found one of their camps and took pictures of their supplies, but not them, out of respect. Then I walked around and counted about 40 people living on the streets, within a five-mile radius of City Hall. People often say, “Seeing is believing” and “If you do not have a picture, it did not happen.” So I took the risk of my audience not believing me, but I thought it was more important to respect the privacy of others. If my audience wants more proof, then they can go look for themselves. Nonetheless, not all photographs can be trusted, some are intentionally altered, as a way of misrepresenting a situation or to manipulate the audience.

Cross cultural norms are standards that we all live by. They are the shared expectations and rules that guide behavior of people within social groups. Cultural norms are learned and reinforced from parents, friends, teachers, and others, while growing up in a society. Well, in my culture, we believe in being peaceful, responsible, and must display respect for our elders. Today I was at the Capitol Castle, and three ladies were walking towards me, there was not enough room on the sidewalk for us all to pass comfortable, so I had to walk off the sidewalk, and into a puddle so I did not disturb the ladies who were passing by.

Decidophobia is the fear of making decision due to the ramifications. Sufferers may fear the most about making a wrong decision. Decidophobes are bothered about their life full of choices and would prefer others made decisions for them or coached them in the decision making process. My dad and I were looking at houses, and he could not make up his mind about what city he wanted to purchase a house it, as he was not sure I would accept his choice.

However, I told him that I would be happy to buy a house with him, no matter where it was located. He smiled and promised that I would be happy with his choice. So sometimes people who have a hard time making decisions are required to know that someone will have faith in them and accept the choices they make, which builds confidence and will help them make future decisions without so much hesitation or requirement for approval.

Direct action the use of strikes, demonstrations, or other public forms of protest rather than negotiation to achieve one’s demands. Well, I saw one of my neighbor’s, it was about 11.45pm at night, and she was just standing on the street corner. I do not like to talk to people I do not like and knew that if I passed by her, she would want to talk. So to protest their encounter, I simply crossed the street, and she turned around and walked the other way. My demands were met because I did not have to have a fake interaction with this lady.

Rationalization is a process in which people superficially find reason to justice their acts, opinions, and behavior.  The process might seem reasonable and valid, but that may not be true. When people rationalize, they are often unconscious and often less creditable. Sometimes I get bored with my routine and today I walked off my normal path, although I am not supposed to.

I justified this decision because I had to leave New York last night and rush back to Sacramento for a morning meeting. So the rationalization is that I missed out on something, so then I can deviate off my path a little, even though I am not supposed to. I felt like my decision would be forgiven because I gave up something that I wanted, in order to attend the meeting, but rationalization often causes us to make bad decisions and can lead to denial.

Repression may refer to memory inhibition, the ability to filter irrelevant memories from attempts to recall. Sometimes I like to surprise myself by hiding money in my coats. So every once in  while, I will place some money in the pocket of a coat and hang it back up. Then I will try to forget that I stashed money so the next time I wear the coat, it will be like an added bonus and a great surprise.

Statistical norm is when a person’s thinking or behavior is classified as typical, expected, or acceptable behavior in a particular social group. This behavior should be comprehensible to others and make them feel comfortable. Well, today we had a meeting, and I have a few comments and questions, so instead of just interrupting discussion, or speaking over others, I simply raised my hand until I could address the topic that was being discussed. In our culture, it is considered polite to be as professional as possible.

A phobia is an overwhelming and unreasonable fear of an object or situation that poses little real danger but provokes anxiety and avoidance. Well, I dislike foul odors and feel totally disgusted by people who take their dogs for a walk and let them defecate on the sidewalk, and then pick up the hot boo boo with a thin plastic bad and carry it around. To me that is rude, disgusting, and a health hazard. So when I see someone letting their dog relieve itself, I will often go the other direction because I do not want to smell it nor be near it.

Mental health is very subjective. It is basically someone’s opinion about what is wrong with a person. Most people tend to be able to take care of themselves and live a normal life. However, sometimes in life we experience extreme hardships, like the loss of a loved one. If we do not acknowledge what happened, but talk to a medical professional about what is going on in our lives, grieving could be misdiagnosed as serious mental condition because when one losses a loved one, they experience a wide ray of emotions. So be sure to look at everything that is going on in your life to figure out why you might be in pain because if you talk to a psychologist, but withhold information, they may diagnose you with a mental disorder you do not have.

Here are three characteristics I have that I wish no one else knew about: I am sensitive, caring, but sometimes get upset by things I do not understand. I learned to feel embarrassed about being sensitive from my friends. It is well-known one has to learn to listen to others without being offended and understand that sometimes people are going to say things we do not agree with and that is part of life, do not take it personally, and ask questions for clarification. Sometimes I care so much about others that I allow them to manipulate me, but my parents taught me letting someone use me is unacceptable and that relationships are about reciprocation. Every once in a while, I will let someone get my attention, even when I know I should ignore them. To resolve this issue, my mother taught me to trust my instincts.

Sometimes I like to walk two laps around the park, at night, hours apart. And I walk every day, so I fear being noticed by others and labeled so I try to change up my path and times, so people do not notice me as much. Another thing I do that causes me to question myself is I put my trash in zip lock bags, then place them in the garbage can because I do not feel comfortable leaving food, uncovered, and sitting in a trash can without a lid. Another thing I do is I like to shop in the midnight hour because there are less people out. While some see this as unusual, I love it.

Well, years ago, I was faced with an approach-approach situation; I had the choice between getting a Lexus automobile or a BMW. I always wanted the BMW and so that is what I selected. Both cars are nice and well made, but I like BMW more. While I was walking to the store two night, two guys were blocking the sidewalk, so I walked in the street so not to get in-between them, which is an example of avoidance-avoidance conflict because neither options was the safe. And tonight, I had two premade meals, but neither one was appealing, so I skipped the main course.

Our meetings tend to be very loud and repetitive. Many people are always hollering and screaming, so today I dealt with the noise, but took direct action and  decided to record it and share it so other people can hear what we have to go through. Hopefully people will hear themselves and learn to be more respectful. When I have problems, I usually try to resolve them.

Some people have things going on in their lives that they can control, but they let the situations go on so long that they become a huge problem that they are not able to resolve on their own. I like to take direct action. Instead of taking direction action, I could instead pray about a situation and allow God to fix it.

I have been in a situation that was so bad that I wanted to give up, but instead, I increased by exercise, starting allowing myself to sleep later, and started eating better quality food.

A lot of people think it is normal to spy on others and trying to figure out what other people are doing and then make comments about it. I think this is crazy because these people try to act like they know one so well that they can guess what one is doing, and in many cases they are wrong about their assumptions. Another thing people do is they make floating comments, when no one is speaking to them, and then just walk away. I think it is crazy for people to walk around talking to themselves. Something else I think is crazy is people who dislike one, but spend time talking to people they do not like. If I do not like someone, I will usually be civil around them and spend as little time with them as possible.

There are different parts of my personality. There is my surface self, which I share with people I do not know well, and this aspect of my personality tends to be happy and professional. There is another side to my personality that likes to be close to someone and be loving and supportive of the person I am in a relationship with. There really is not conflict between these two parts because I do not treat associates the same way I would treat my spouse. So there really is not issues there. People, who I am not in a relationship with might so that I am cold, whereas someone I am in a relationship with perhaps will have a different opinion, so I guess there is a little conflict. However, love in all things a most wonderful teacher.