You leave me feeling cold and with a bitter beer face. I pray to God every day for salvation. When I day dream, I imagine being in my own house with a nice yard, and spending time in my backyard making sure my plants and flowers look perfect. I also wish God would put warm and loving people in my life, who enjoy the time we spend together. So many people spend time examining your past, even when you were not with them, and get upset about past relationships. You know when someone cares about you, but when they are with other people, and you are constantly alone it may not always seem that way.

A little angel provides you with beautiful things so that it can temporarily buy your silence, and that is a blessing. One lives in a nice place, with many nice items and that is also nice. My life is nothing like I dreamed it would be, not yet anyway. I feel like right now is a period of transition, and God is working things out so I can be in a better place. I never know where you are or what you are doing, but people always see you around town with your Tinder dates.  I originally thought my compassion would bring you back to your light side, but it seemed to only help your further your personal ambitions.

Some people are willing to commit a murder to gain power, and I imagine that is not something one can so easily let go of. Being thankful, expression compassion, accepting others, and helping those who require assistance can be helpful in overcoming or possibly preventing psychological disorders. However, striving for person gain, lack of compassion, and not accepting others are generally associated with psychological disharmony. It may be tempting to some to be selfish and not care for others, but research indicates that life offers more benefits to those who are caring and this often leads to mental health and stability.

Sometimes people feel like their lives have been dismembered and reattached. This can probably cause extremely powerful changes in the mind and body of an individual. While the maturity gained from hardship, we all wish there was a path one could consider a cake walk. When a person is injured or loses an ability, other parts of the brain will compensate and make others functions stronger. Moving away from a warm loving home, to an apartment in the cold city and always being alone can be a challenge. Things that you have gotten used to are suddenly no more.

While other people cannot really experience what you are truly going through, even when they claim they can, there is still sense embedded in your soul source code waiting to return to a similar environment, and this creates a disparity between what your sensory system expects and what is actually happening. Just like unusual issues arise in people’s bodies who have had serious surgeries and things removed, because the central nervous system is not good at forgetting about disappearing body parts, the same thing may happen in your life when you are taken out of your natural environment.

Some people pray and dream that their lives will return to normal, and they will once again be in a large, warm, loving house, but no matter how hard you work, you have no idea when this will happen? I guess it is good to have faith and know it will be soon. Your faith still exists, and is anticipating your life will return to normal. Some of your personality may have been pruned, but there has also been an expansion of consciousness. Other energies take over, and help you to function. This will make people think you have changed, that you feel different, and maybe you even look different to them.

When you meet people who resonate with you, you are able to open up and it reminds you of who you used to be. However, the people in your past have also changed, and you may not always like what you see. I know sometimes we try to tolerate people’s blustery and slick personalities, but at some point we become detached, and they are not as much of a part of our lives as they used to be.  This is you just trying to accommodate yourself and prevent from having so many harsh interactions with others.

Life in the city could be like being at work all the time. This may have been what you wanted at one point, but being isolated and having so many shallow connections drains the soul. Other people cannot understand what you are going through because they have friends, lovers, and others in their sphere who care about them.  For you, many of the people you see every day are like computers, most irrelevant, some okay, and a few others you would like to get to know, and have been seeing around, but do not know how to operate that data base so you do not embarrass yourself.

Often times, being alone in a city can attract some darker adaptions of people into your life, and this can change your perception about the World. These syndrome arise when people have been watching you and talking about you to the point they think they know you, but their knowledge does not functionally represent who you are, as it is based off of myopic observations and the opinions of others. Things may have happened to you, and you may try to express them to your spouse, but they flat out tell you, “You’re lying, that never happened”

Do not get offended, sometimes it is hard for people to acknowledge what happened because it really hurts them and upsets them, so they have to pretend it is a lie. Other people will flat out tell you, “You deserved it!” And these could be people you love, which helps you detach from their cold and blustery personalities. Although this is not the perfect life for you, some might be jealous because you seem to be successful, people who live in the city, due to high cost of living and all the walking, tend to be thin. Some are bitter because they are married with children, not exactly happy, and have a mom body, and they see all the perceived freedom you have.

You will be able to sense how people take to you, and it can be a good thing, maybe some might not even be aware of what is going on. Like the guy who works a few blocks from your apartment, you two have been seeing each other in person for years, recognize each other, but do not know anything about each other. Suddenly, you two walk into the supermarket at the same time and are all in each other’s way, but it is almost like a playful flirting. Not to make the situation awkward, you walk around with hopes and knowing that you two may see each other again, soon. So you continue in your empty relationship, you love the person you are with, but he is more interested in his work and his Tinder dates. Because you love this person, you stay in the relationship, but you never know what God has in store for you. Maybe the loving bond and spending time together will return to your cold marriage, or maybe someone new will come along? Maybe you will get a huge bonus at work and move and be able to focus on something else altogether, but only time will tell.

This guy you were flirting with at the supermarket might represent your phantom husband. He is tall, thin, attractive, nice hair, and seems to have a pleasant disposition. These are all the things you want, but you are still thankful that your real husband loves you, even though he is more interested in his work and prostitutes he hooks up with on Tinder. The supermarket phantom husband allows some light to enter your life and allows you to experience being looked at with compassion. You would have loved to bump into him and have him hug you. The only way to resolve your issues is to talk to your husband and letting him know you want more out of your cold marriage, but you fear letting go because you love him and maybe he has something wonderful in store for you. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.