All I need is you, we can survive on cheese and crackers and vegetables; I mean fruit. I like grapes, apples sound good, too. You and I have got a part, a suspense story, basically, but by implication it raises the question of the tendency of men of ideals on both sides to fall, underpressure, into the attitude that the end justifies the means.

Nobody, except perhaps a Freudian psyco-analyst, could ever explain why you would fall in love with me. A man who does not know his personal history well (and more than just cognitively), to the point where he is not being dominated by it, cannot be fully trusted, for whatever lies unfaced and unillumined in him can take over, run the show, and operate in ways that do great damage, both to himself and to others.

We are always trying to understand or make sense out of our own and others actions. It has been said that one has a will to meaning. One strives to find meaning everywhere, and usually succeeds. What we are doing when we interpret something, when we find meaning, is not entirely clear.  One cognitive process we all experience is fantasy.

This process is not often explored by behavioral scientists, perhaps because they cannot use the scientific method to investigate it, or because they may see fantasy as a means of escape or a place where only “crazy” or irresponsible people choose to live.

Not so! The realm of fantasy is just as much a part of the cognitive process as any other “respectable” thinking or memory system. However, fantasy does have many characteristics that make if difficult to study. Yet, keep in mind, many of the “rational” things people say are not entirely true, or outdated.

For example, many say America is a country built by immigrants, but that is not true. American has been under construction since the 1600, by colonizers, and with in that time many have become citizens. Most of the construction in American, was done is that last 150 by Americans, so America is actually a country built by Americans. Experts say that Golden Era, from 1945 to 1970, was the largest period of construction in the history of the United States of America.

So even when things are taken as a fact, by digging deeper, we often find the truth. So it is okay to dream. Dreams are so personal and subjective that it is difficult to share with others, and a fantasizer may not even be certain of all of the details of the fantasy himself, making it hard to describe to another person. For many of us, our past is a major part of our shadow, apparently gone, but in reality still very much here and now, determining far more of our behavior than we might want to admit.

Our past will remain present until we consciously and compassionately take out present/presence into our past, inhabiting what was once fled, mobilizing what was once immobilized, freeing what was once trapped, brining into our heart what was once rejected, providing as optimal environment as possible for a healing integration of all that we are. This leaves us not in pieces nor run by any particular part of ourselves, but knowingly whole.

A relationally rooted, integrative approach to healing takes into account all of our dimensions—physical, mental, emotional, psychological, sexual, social, and spiritual—cultivating intimacy (hence relationally rooted) and working with them in the context of our innate wholeness. In this approach, no part of us is left out or marginalized. Everything that we are is considered in the process of our healing.

Sometimes we meet people and are really interested in someone, but wonder if they really want to settle down. Most people, used to look for stable relationships, but it seems many are now just looking to have friends and many casual encounters, and it leaves some wondering if they will ever be in a long term relationship, or should they also just become serial daters?

Well, just give it time. Hold out, and do not share yourself with just anyone. One of my friends has only been dating this guy for a year, and he asked her to marry him, and she accepted the offer. She is very beautiful and he knows women like her do not come around often. So the right person for you will find you.

Your body is not just an “it,” but rather an expression of who you are. The day will come; and in the endless river the waters of time shall smooth behind their wake, and not a ripple mark their noisy passing. All the rivers run and time flow softly. I know that, when I first saw this body of water, coming from two thousand miles away, it was a most stimulating and exciting experience.