He says he went away because he was tired of living in an atmosphere of parochial suburbanism. Sigmund Freud famously stated that women suffered from penis envy. However, it is many men that have spent considerable time comparing their penis with those of others, with special status frequently given to the larger or lengthier ones. I remember being in high school, and not wanting to show anyone my manhood.

I thought it was small and had not seen any others, so I did not want to show it off. It was not until I was called a girl, in my adult life, by a pack of jealous reporters, and after someone asked to see, it to verify that I had one. The person was very impressed and then I became comfortable with showing it off. Not that no one has ever seen it, after high school we went skinny dipper at a teachers house, and I had been caught with my pants down a few times. It is just that even some male adults are deviant and want to make life harder on others.

As you know, a penis is an extension of a man’s pride, and some try to injury your pride because they cannot really find anything wrong with you. However, many women are actually not concerned with the size of your penis, as they are usually looking to be with men who are mature, have a career, and a healthy mental status. Nonetheless, I am happy I am not tiny. Other men, who like to call men genders they are not, usually have serious issues and may suffer from what is called a Napoleon complex. They are embarrassed by their manhood so they become bullies to men they feel threatened by. Nonetheless, how painfully limiting is it to have one’s manhood reduced to being little more than a walking erection. Personally, I would like people to admire my other features as well.

So many men like other men to know that they are sexually active because it makes them feel like they are more of a man, a conqueror of women. This may stir his pride, but can also stir up shame when he does not rise to the occasion. Sometimes the man downstairs may not work, the penis does not lie. A man may lose his erection during sex when he sees what is really going on, besides the erotic play: maybe he sees that his sexual partner is in emotional pain and trying to hide it; maybe he feels a flush of shame for how he pressured his partner into having sex; or he may not be very attracted to that person, especially as he starts to sober.

The important thing about women is to learn to listen to them with your entire being. Your job is not to fix something, but to genuinely take it and resonate with what she is feeling.  Stay alive and fully present in your listening, doing so not as a duty, but as an act of intimate interest and care. Give her some unexpected affection and caring, and not just every now and then. Do not make her earn your affection and caring. Be trustworthy, a safe place for her, protective but not possessive. Do not leave your unresolved wounds and conditioning unattended. Work on yourself, and keep working on yourself. Dig deep, feel more, come more alive, doing whatever healing work is needed.

Do not neglect person hygiene. Stale sweat is rarely a turn on. The same goes for bad breath, food stuck between your teeth, and unwashed body parts. You also need to wash your undercarriage. Some women may not bring this to your attention, not wanting to hurt you; if they do not their aversion stays in place, while you remain unaware of why she seems a bit reluctant to physically engage with you. Do not leave your clothes and or other stuff laying around for her to pick up and take care of. She is not your maid, and treating her like one is not going to foster intimacy.

Do not compare her to your mother or your previous partners or lovers. Comparisons can set up unwanted and messy triangulations, impaling both you and her. Stop overemphasizing the visual in sexual functioning. Getting too caught up in how she looks keeps you insufficiently focused on the rest of her. By all means appreciate her appearance, but also stay attuned to her energetically, which is much more about feeling than seeing. If she has let herself go physically, compassionately consider with her what that might he a symptom of (depression, deep hurt, wanting to be less sexual with you, and so on).

Look deeply enough at her to see more than her surface presentation. See her vulnerability, he wounds, her uncertainty, and her subtle signals. Notice when her facial expression and energy do not match her words. Sense what she may not be saying. Sense her feeling you seeing her. And never pressure your wife or girlfriend with your mounting expectations, but also do not expect her to read your mind. Learn to speak about what you want. Healing is not a process, but a revelation; for the revealing of the perfect and always heal. Anyone can heal who believes that he can, and who will take the time to set that belief in motion through the law. To daily see the perfect man, and to daily declare for his objective appearance, is correct mental practice and will heal.