Rape is a crossing of another’s sexual boundaries without their permission. It is abusive behavior. If you are being run by your sexual appetite, your caring about possibly disrespecting the other’s boundaries will matter little to you. Rape is an eroticized trespassing and violation of their being. Its tools are various combinations of physical force, threat, coercion, abuse of authority, manipulation, and a capacity to shut off empathy and override conscience. Rape features aggression and lust in a darkly compelling embrace, being allowed to possess and run one, in context ranging from the mundane to the evil. This is not some kind of anomaly, but the Pentagon recently released a report indicating that in 2012 there were 26,000 cases of reported sexual assaults in the United States military. Of the 26,000 assaults, 14,000 men reported being raped and 12,000 women. Many think that only women are raped, but these statistics show that more men were actually violated than women in this particular setting, and only 9 percent of these cases processed actually went to court martial. The Pentagon also estimated that about 90 percent of rapes go unreported. Furthermore, some key United States military officers, in charge of preventing sexual assault, were under investigation for sexual attacks also.

 Many rape cases are looked at as an unpleasant statistic, as if it were not all that serious a matter. It is estimated that 20 percent of women and 18 percent of men, in the United States have been raped or otherwise sexually assaulted. However, men are far less likely to report these crimes. Rape may be the most underreported crime. The United States Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 91 percent of rape victims are female, and 9 percent are male, and that 99 percent of the offenders are male. And did you know that in more than half of the states in the US, a rapist who has impregnated their victims can sue for custody and visitation rights? Most rapists are men, and for some of those men, the sexualized overpowering of another is titillating, especially when they are able to dehumanize that other, reducing her—or him—to a little more than a prop (or mere property) in their sexual fantasies and actions. The not uncommon hesitation of many men in positions of considerable power to take really strong stands regarding rape only contributed to the viewing of rape as something bad, but not that bad. Often times when people are raped, the person who attacked them will smile and their face, and hover around them like nothing ever happened. And people, who hear about it, not necessarily from the person assaulted, will pretend like nothing ever happened. However, generally men are appalled by rape. Many women do not report rape because they are embarrassed and want to forget. Men will not report being raped because there is the thought “Boys will be boys,” and what man wants to be questioned about being dominated and made to feel lower than a worm’s belly? Some rapists will even justify their actions and threaten to retaliate if you report it.

 Some people are not sexually active, for whatever reason, and others may know this because they have tried to pursue a sexual encounter with the person, but have been shut down. This might make that individual seem like even more of a challenge. Much like a wild beast, some feel that through actual and or violent overpowering of another is arousing. Rape takes the eroticizing or the desire to overpower, dominate, or hurt another, and acts it out sexually against the wishes of that person, violating her or him, using vaginal, anal, or oral penetration with the penis or an object. Most men know that rape is something they can never engage in, so do not think all men are bad, there is no way that they could find sexually violating another person to be at all arousing or appealing or doable. If we are to fully heal, and have a life in which passion, awareness, integrity, and love function we have to learn what intimacy means. You cannot overrun, possess, nor control another we are very close to. You may feel that someone was made for you, and if you want to become intimate with someone, have the psychological architecture of allowing them to occupy your heart, and get to know them deep inside, even though we do not have them.