Wanting to be seen as courageous is very different from being courageous. Courage is mostly far from spectacular, often taking shape in the form of activities that may seem mundane to others, not worthy of more than a fleeting glance. Looking back on my father’s accomplishments, a veteran, I never knew that he was in pain my entire life. Physical pain, but still, he got up, went to work and supported his family and never said a word. At one point he may have ran off, for years, and partied with the guys and the capital dames, but he deserved to.

The man went through a lot to protect his country, and he also lost a lot. His wife divorced him took his house in Oakland Hills and his kids, and that is not to say that she is a bad person, she was there to help him through the mental and physical pains he did not share with us. People, who fight in wars, are trained to kill on command, they see bloodshed, bombs are thrown at their heads daily, and they constantly hear gunshots.

Quite frankly, I could not live through that, but my father did and I believe he is Superman. Then to have to come back to civilian life and have to turn all of that off and just be a regular human being. You know, he lost money and years of his life to fighting in the war, it ruined his marriage, and he got no contracts or trophies. However, courage endures, including when it has to change course.

Pride can also be a far less honorable state, rooted in arrogance and a sense of superiority, existing mostly as an antidote or solution to shame, exalting itself through diminishing or disrespecting others. Some– many people are upset by the circus the face of Coon’s chicken put on, 11 September 2015.

While people were at work and mourning the loss of true heroes and loved ones, this buffoon had a block party, at taxpayer’s expense, to honor a young man, who you will soon see dancing across your screen like a power bottom in heat, while the face of Coon’s chicken, Mayor Kevin Johnson, pretended to be Marilyn Monroe, hanging from an old beat up Cadillac, waving to the public, with his Kool aid smile.

Then we got to listen to these three young men, who are being called heroes, give vague speeches, and talk about how they are taking trips around the World, and love all the support they are getting, and feel connected to victims of the 911 attacks. I felt this was the biggest piece of malarkey and staged news I have ever seen.

Being someone who has actually lost a family member who served in the war, and lost another family member who did not make it home from work on 911, I feel like if you truly felt connected, your comments would show that. And to sit on the stage and smile like three Chicago two step champions, I truly do not feel these young men are heroes. To be caught up in the kind of pride displayed by these young man, and the Mayor, who orchestrated the event, aligns us with a narcissistic heroism, featuring a blown up version of “me” at the helm, a massively myopic individualism.

Carrying this further, sucking out any remaining trace of compassion and sensitivity, and it is not hard to find that kind of pride, which is one of the Christianity’s seven deadly sin. Such pride is aggressively me-centered, leaving us not only standing over others, but also invested in having them remain in their place, whatever the cost.

What a sense of incompetency is to shame, a sense of competency is to price. In my English class, I learned that when someone really reads your work, you will know by the comments they leave. You will get more than a “Oh, this was a good essay, I really felt like I could relate to the main character.” Usually people who tell the truth will leave you an in depth, passionate comment, which leaves you feeling good and like they really connected to the material.

And I know that some of you are saying, I am just jealous, and that is not true. I simply feel like this circus that Mayor Kevin Johnson had, on 911, was so anti-American. To many Americans, it would be like a group of people having a party and celebrating the deaths of Michael Brown, Treyvon Martin, or the beating of Rodney King. That tramp could have had his block party on Saturday 12 September 2015, while people were home from work and had the time and the frame of mind to receive it.

The leadership in Sacramento, California has lost their minds, and it is clear to the World. The city of Sacramento has become a parody of a real city. And Mayor Kevin Johnson talks about how he wants to make Sacramento, California a World class city, but locks the public and journalist out of meetings about wage equality, ignores the fact the their public housing discriminates against young whites.

Not only that, did you know Mayor Kevin Johnson, who wants a World class city is actually a slumlord?! Yes, his real estate holdings in the Oak Park neighborhood of Sacramento, California discovered that more than 50 percent of the properties owned by Mayor Kevin Johnson had been cited for various violation codes, including but not limited to: overgrown vegetation, dead animals, foul odors of dried urine and feces, debris on the property, and decaying fire damaged buildings. Many people actually feel like Mayor Kevin Johnson is really like a gray smoke could over Sacramento and hindering the city’s progress. A true hero is pure action in the service of what truly matters.

There is so much corruption in the World, and many of us think we have to pick one side, black or white, but I want to be an advocate of both. Blacks are always complaining about white privilege and not getting this or that, but the fact of the matter is some of them are truly lazy and lack the mental dexterity and education it takes to succeed. So how about we cultivate an awakening of innocence by being honest with ourselves.

After living in Sacramento, California, I got see a side of black people I had never seen. They lie, borrow things like ketchup and kitchen utensils, gardening tools and never return them, and you end up having to go out and buy new things to replace what you lost. They beg for rides and then give you $4 for gas, tear up your car and regress to naïve innocence or hide out in cynicism and irony.

These black people seem to get away with physically assaulting people, breaking and entering, theft, and harassment. I mean they simply do not get arrested. Many of the blacks I have seen in Sacramento, California, a stark contrast to the African Americans in New York and Oakland, as like barely formed embryonic fetus, hardly having the legs to survive because they are so fully of insanity, greed, and numbness that pervades so much of our planet. And many of the professional African Americans and European Americans feel like we have no voice and are being eaten away from the inside, and we do not want to get caught up like Bambi.

Courage is overlooked every day or undervalued. Last night, I saw a beautiful female journalist giving a life report on the 70,000 acre Butte fire, as sparks of burning embers came dangerously close to burning her beautiful long blonde hair, but she kept reporting, as if she did not notice. Some people have physical courage by staying present and uncollapsed when they are physically hurting.

Physical pain can be overwhelming, agonizing, exhausting, and relentless. No one wants to keep talking about it or acknowledging it because relating to it, without getting lost in it, takes stamina. Why should someone have to keep proving what has been well documented and written about for decades? Are your people still mentally unstable? Are they taking their Sarah pills and going to therapy so they can go back to work? Do they tell about how they kick on doors and physically and verbally assault others? Do they talk about how their days are spent plotting to take others down? Their bodies are perfectly fine, they can pop a Sarah pill and go to work.

However, never fear them, keep letting yourself speak with real feeling when you are afraid of the possible consequences, such as rejection or ridicule. Stand in the face of strong opposition or possible ostracism and keep looking for new opportunities. Existential courage means you are able to bare the reality of existence, without clinging to what is tangible. People may laugh at your lofty goals, or your social construction of reality, but at least you are talking about concepts and not gossiping like a broad.

This climate is very unfamiliar and your personal identity seems to be the flimsiest of constructs, but have the spiritual courage to awaken to your true nature without any dissociation or denial of your humanity, and deal with your painful emotions and unresolved wounds. I know it is uncomfortable to share your wounds and unflattering states, you are trying to attract love and opportunities, but being your own whistleblower helps you keep your connections alive and well, and it also sheds light on the ignorance of critics who love a media circus. Courage is all about facing what we are scared to do, and doing it nonetheless. Without risk there is no courage. Without fear there is no courage. Without challenging circumstances, there is no courage.

We may want to give up, but we do not. Courage does not always look like courage, and people may not understand or care about your struggle, but when we are being courageous, we do not care how we look. We just keep going, again, and again, finding the optimal pace. You may be in so much debt behind the illegal things people have done to you, but courage is life enhancing warriorhood, heart centered heroism, a matter of not abandoning what is young and tender in you as you let courage’s path rise up to meet your stride, not necessarily knowing what is coming next, and being okay with not knowing.

Much of it is everyday heroism that does not result in medals or applause. Your son may have won a big race, working very hard for his victory, and you are bursting with happiness for him, feeling yourself both touched and uplifted. You are proud of him, without feeling any need to diminish his competitors.