It is bloody violent. The battles we are in, and are culturally encouraged to be in, may be laced with notions like good sportsmanship, but are nonetheless a type of warfare. When groups of men come together to overpower, one man, who is weak, that is a sad situation. When people illegally gather information about a person, and distort this information, knowing the person was already injured and hurt him not only physically, but also damage his reputation, that is sad.

It is also sad to see someone seek about a person, and use this person because you will just make an individual dislike you. This has happened to me, and I often felt powerless because I was trying to build a career and looking for a male role model, but instead these men because jealous and deviant. They enjoy shaming me. It brings them pleasure, and they caused me injuries and walk around acting like they did nothing. This type of behavior has made me distance myself for the terrified, oh so vulnerable little boy in me, and has actually frozen my heart hard. My pain has been shifted into intellectual stimulation.

Knowledge is power, and instead of getting upset, I have been using this time and energy to study everything I can get my hands on, from stories about rappers, physics, religion, economics, and psychology. Instead of focusing on how these people have violated me and hurt me, I believe that pain is weakness leaving the body, and that I will heal myself and my reputation and that God will turn this situation around, and I will come out of it much strong and ready to take on more responsibility. Victory is a grail that promises great satisfaction.

After all, I have had two spinal surgeries, one when I was eight, and it took 13 hours, the doctor said I would never be able to walk again, but I did not believe him. A few weeks later I was up an walking again. However, because of some complications, I had to have another spinal surgery a decade later, and almost bled to death, but I am still living. And more recently, I was assaulted and now have two compression fractures of the vertebrae on my spine, and a group of reporters have been taunting me relentlessly and slandering me, which will make finding employment kind of difficult, but I am sure I will overcome these challenges two, after I heal, of course.

Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that it hurts to walk, it even hurts to type, but I cannot just sit here and doing nothing because sitting too long hurt, too. I have no employment history, and am self-educating, so if someone asks me, “What have you been doing with your times?” I want to be able to show them. Nonetheless, I have been meeting some men, a few of them journalist, who have been very supportive and most of the lady journalist have always been very caring and supportive.

My goal is to demolish those who want to fight me by out smarting them. The point is not to defeat them, but to reroute this negative energy into something healthier, some that can benefit everyone because many people have the same experiences. And it is unfathomable that a group of powerful men would want to harass someone and injure him to the point he is close to becoming homeless.  And in their savage encounters with each other, these power forcing men are actually bonding, forming a cult, and enjoy inflicting pain. They want to emasculate me with their schizophrenic powers.

Power should be used to empower others, but what people do with their power simply defines them and reflects their priorities. Nothing is more illuminating than how people use the power they have. Such an abuse of power can turn the World into an empire of battles, but we can also use these attacks to become more intelligent and make sure that when we come into power, we never abuse others in the same right. You see, the mind and power will get sick of them pain, and eventually we can terminate it, and when others find out what is really going on here and see how eloquently we overcame these obstacles, it will make us more attractive, and opportunities will power it.

The reason I am saying we and us is because I am not alone, others are facing battles and challenges, too. And in the process, it will allow us to get to know ourselves better, and operate as a fully human being, while the critics are still humanoids. It seems to me that instead of continuing discussing what they have done, the critics would come together and figure out how to resolve the matter before they attraction attention of powerful men and women who want to punish them.

I have learned that a lot of men, and some women that I admired were arrogant and irresponsible, but I want to come from a more mature place. So I am trying to use the power I have to heal, awaken, and help others. When you share your power, it allows you to form intimate relationships and people will learn to like you and will feel like they know you, and this is how God will turn your situation around.

Use your power to protect. “If we do not recognize and have some degree of intimacy with whatever in us can dehumanize or abuse others, however, civilized or rational its demeanor (savages do wear suits and have slick hairstyles) we pose a danger not only to ourselves, but to other, no matter how nicely we generally behave. What really matters here is not so much the presence of this inner darkness, but the kind of relationship we choose to have with it,” reports Dr. Robert Augustus Masters, PHD. And I really wanted a male role model, even though I have yet to connect with them in person, I have been using social media to interact with them, and they have been a huge benefit to my redevelopment.