The generality of human actions, like a great deal of our current coin, is counterfeit. Minor conflicts can easily escalate into major destructive conflicts spiraling out of control when groups are faces with failure, poor working conditions, intense competition, stress, or a defensive climate. Managing conflict, in challenging circumstances, can be difficult.

I have a friend, who is fond of the hit and run confrontation. As the other person starts to respond to his revelation, he abruptly excuses himself, pleading an “urgent” appointment that cannot be missed or a “Sorry, I am late for work” apology. This timing is strategic. If you hit, then run, you do not take the risk of getting hit back. At least not right away.

The target of the hit and run gets to stew over your revelation and fume over your perceived insensitivity. The perpetrator, however, likely feels relieved that a great weight has been lifted by his or her disclosure of self. If you are going to confront, make time for it.

The principle of reciprocation operates universally in all societies. When someone assists us, we feel obligated to return the benefaction. The principle of requital can be exploited as a powerful compliance gaining strategy or inducement for cooperation in small groups.

There is another side to the strategy, however, called negative reciprocation. Here those who do harm to us or threaten our well-being are thought to deserve harm or threats in return, and negative reciprocation tends to be stronger than its beneficial form.

Group members often overact to perceived threats or offenses, especially from more powerful members, setting in motion a destructive conflict spirals. This overreaction has a chain reverberation on the whole system.

Disputing group member often do more than merely reciprocate each other’s negative behavior in exact proportion. They usually ratchet up this level of negativity. A mildly abusive remark, from a second member, that may in turn incite a highly abusive and threatening remark from a third member, and so forth.

How do groups short circuit conflict spirals? The basic role of the competent communicator is to avoid negative reciprocation. You must not match the abusive, insulting, or threatening behavior of other group members.

More and more occasions require negation; conflict is a growth industry. Whether in business, government, or the family, people reach most decisions through negation. Negotiation is a process by which a joint decision is made by two or more parties.

First of all, let anger sink into compassion, and issue a sincere public statement expression a desire to deescalate the conflict. Specify the concession to be made, clarifying what, when and how the action will be undertaken. Follow through and complete the concession, but do not make this contingent on reciprocation by other parties.

Encourage, but do not demand, reciprocation from other parties. Make no high risk concession that leave you vulnerable or in an indefensible position. Do not give away things you cannot afford to, or make promises you cannot keep. It is our goal not to get drawn into the conflict that main stream American is experiencing.

We accept and love all people regardless of their skin color, eye color, hair texture, gender, or culture. I truly wish we could let this concept of race go and just focus on being good people and being nice. It is possible, we all just have to make up our minds to let go of conflict, do not feed into it. Time, patience, and fortitude often conquer fate.

As we know not to what purpose any event is ultimately directed, so neither can we affirm from what cause it originally sprung from. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings and maybe this is the best I have. Every living entity, piece of property, and inanimate object matters.

Providence will, sooner or later, procure the felicity of the virtuous and innocent. No bond unites congenial hearts more firmly than that of a common great aim. It is more useful to go through life with common sense than with all the taste in the World.