Father, thank you for enabling me to possess the freshest morning and the brightest spring, we crave it with sincerity, adorning wisdom. Natural affection, of all the sentiments, has permanent power over me. You have been to my regards what light, what color is to my eyes, what music is to the inward ear; you have raised a dim unrest into a vivid consciousness. The son is eager to enjoy the World before the father is willing to forsake it; youth is the season of benevolence. No man knows tills the time comes, what depths are within him. Your eyes have hope for life. I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me. When a tender affection has been storing itself in us through many of our years, the idea that we could accept any exchange for it seems to be a cheapening of our lives. You use your love to build up our spirits and soul. Having you in my life is exquisite and dazzlingly brilliant and a father’s value is incomparable.

No son of Adam ever reads his own heart, at all, except by the habit acquired, and the light gained, from some years’ perusal of other hearts; and even then, with his acquired sagacity and reflected light, he can but spell and decipher his own heart, not read it fluently. You cannot be angry with others for seeing you in a light in which you so strongly see yourself. Your generous present is not just help in material, but support in spirit. It makes ripples of thanks springing up in our hearts. On the road of long dark night, seeing the fire in front of us, it is hope. My thoughts have been your wisdom, in your day belonging to you, I see your deep yearnings and blessings. What affects my soul and urges me forward is your true and selfless love. Oh, my father, your lofty morality will be engraved on my mind. Thank you for your cultivation. What is endless is your deep love. Bless you, my dear fathers, and thank you. The love will not disappear with the passing of time, accompanying with me to the ends of the World forever.

You stretch selflessly your hands when I am in difficulties. You offer me your sincere heart when I am in pains. You walk with me when I am discouraged. Oh, in future, I would like to donate riches to you. It is you who breed me and give me strong muscles and bones and a healthy body and mind. It is you who cultivated me and gave me pure soul and fine ideal. I thank you sincerely, my father. I deeply love you with my life; you are the Earth that builds me up. Father like sunshine, giving me firmness and enthusiasm, one father is more than a hundred school masters. In this World, people must climb their own trees; it is a great thing for a lad, when he is first turned into the independence of lodgings. It is not ours to make election for ourselves; Heaven, our fathers, must decide for us.

On the day, I spare time to think how much father has done for us. You are future and eternity and I miss you every second and every minute. I look for what is missing in my life and realize it is you. Since your departure, nothing has been the same. Life has been extremely difficult. I have tried to do everything I can think of to improve my situation, but my efforts do not seem to be enough. I know that by now I should have learned everything there is on how to make my own life better. However, there seems to be a different set of rules for me. No matter what I look, or who I pray to, I realize that my father was the only one to every really care about me, look out for me and fix things in my life. You told me I am not to use the “N” word, need. And that I cannot ask anyone for anything, not even a piece of candy. These rules that you have given me have made me stronger and determined than ever before. I know this message may be a little confusing, as you may not remember some of these things.

In my years on my own, I have come to see that life is a lot different than when I grew up. It goes beyond being sheltered and protected, I have seen things that I would not believe, and not even like paranormal stuff. But just simple things in life like timing are amazing. I want to take this time to recall a few of the great things you have done for me in my life. I will never forget you took me to my first baseball game, when I was five, we went to see the Oakland A’s play. I remember going to the bathroom and wondering why all the men were peeing in the sink, and you told me that I am not supposed to look, but just stand there and pee like I was alone. I will never forget when I was 8 and you were teaching me how to drive and I almost crashed through the store window, and when I was 15 and you were teaching me how to drive and had me drive on the freeway, from Sacramento, to Oakland. I also remember you were coming to visit me on my birthday and something really bad happened to you, but you still made up for it. And our notorious trips to the bank, I used to drive you once a week to get my allowance. Also all the support you gave me paying my bills and just the moral guidance. There are so many more thing I can mention, but I do not want to sound cliché.

Oh, and one of my fondness memories is when I thought I was alone in church and was taking all of those pictures and did not realize you were already there, praying, and watching me. I did not even notice you until you said, “It is beautiful, isn’t it.” I replied yes, and kept clicking away, as you walked out with a smile on your face only a father could have. Then there was the time at the park, and you had on your gray suit, you looked so upset, like I had done something wrong. Later on, it came to my attention you found out about something I did, but I thought you already knew the reasons why. You wanted to hit me and were so angry, but just walked away. I hope you can kind of read in between the lines, with these experiences, and understand what I am trying to say. And I notice you because you remember certain dates, which are not common knowledge, and you also still cook the same foods.

Things have happened, life has changed, and I do wonder why you keep your distance? More than anything, what a young man wants from his father, is the time the two of them spend together. In my youth, you spoiled me, and I am grateful for that. I understand at some point, everyone has to support themselves, as it makes me stronger and more of a man. However, the bond that a father and son have can never be replaced. I have also learned that no one will ever love a young man the way his father does. Mother’s get so much credit, but as you know, you cannot expect to have a man, if he does not take a man’s food. Can there be characters more odious then those of a masculine woman, and an effeminate man? In this World, no one will ever love a man, like his father does. Men are expected to be providers, and as a man, if you cannot provide, one is deemed worthless, even by his own mother. And as a man, I cannot expect a man to take care of me or even uphold my legal rights. Being a man is an interesting experience because it is a lot like being on an island all alone. I am happy that my mother is in my life, but I realize I miss my father so much and spend so much time looking for him.

I remember when I was younger, and thought I was independent and wanted to move to Los Angeles, but you would not let me. Thank God. I had no idea how the World really works. I also remember when I was out of town and you used to call me every Saturday morning and wake me up. And how you have a fetish for gummy bears and gummy worms, you are a really kind soul, and everyone who has met my father loves him. How can I call you? A little regard, a deep missing, a thick love and a sweet memory. I am waiting for you the time you return silently. I hate to say it, but I do not feel like you completed your job, I think there is more you need to teach me, and you know why. Supposing that all human souls are equal; yet the very design of the different machines in which they are enclosed is to super induce a temporary difference on their original equality; a difference adapted to the different purposes for which they are designed by Providence in the transitory state. When those purposes are at an end, this difference will be at an end.