There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with the color, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life’s sores, the better. The three most common sources of emotional problems appear to be a heavy load of stress or anxiety, overuse of defense mechanisms, and problems relating to people. Life is not governed by will or intention.

To walk through life innocently and tranquilly: and to look on death as its gentle termination, which it becomes us to meet with ready minds, neither regretting the past, nor anxious for the future. The most common problem most people have, is knowing how to relate to others. Many people, who overuse defense devices do so because they are afraid of others, feel unaccepted, are unable to give and receive love.

A reality that bleak is often terrible enough to cause the individual to retreat into his own World, where he need not deal with people at all. This is actually a common behavior. One famous example was a woman, who encased herself in a large mansion so not to deal with critics, mockers, and those trying to claim her life.

Her name was Mrs. Sarah Winchester. She was a very vulnerable and rich woman (a billionaire several times over), and she lost her husband and child, in a short time span. As a result of the family business, her life was always in danger, and she rarely left the mansion.

Mrs. Winchester, in fact, build a mansion so large that you could get lost in it. You could literally walk a mile in the seven story mansion, and never pass through the same room twice. So, affection and love of all kinds are really central in the whole issue of mental health. Two paramount ingredients of love and affection are knowledge and acceptance—saying to the loved one, “I know you. I know you very well, and you are great to me.”

One or the other of these ingredients is very often missing in relationships that are called friendship or love. Perhaps some seem to accept you, but do not know you very intimately—and therefore, one, like Mrs. Winchester, might be afraid that when another person does know them, they this person will not truly like or love them. Or perhaps some people in your life do know you well, but always seem to be critical of your faults. In other words, they do not accept you.

Acceptance and knowledge of an individual is extremely important in any loving relationship—and in any therapy relationship, regardless of whether it is a traditional psychoanalysis or modern group therapy situation. The patient comes to feel deeply understood and sincerely accepted by the therapist. This is of paramount importance, because generally the patient does not feel much love or acceptance for himself.

That is one of his major problems, he felt unloved and rejected. Some even speculated that his handlers were actually trying to sell him because of his true lineage, and no one would defend his legal rights, so he had major trust issues, and was often preyed upon.  As a result, he isolated himself, in his apartment, and had no friends, and rarely went out. So if you feel that you are misunderstood, therapy is a great option. Listeners seldom hear the good of themselves.