I took a hit of clarity and it really puts things in perspective. Maybe all of the things you guys said and did, do  not matter because no one seems to care it is just a not even a factor in their minds. I realize that maybe I am not so important and maybe you do not need me, so how about we go a week without talking? That way you get a break from me and I get a break from you.

This way we can see how our lives change. I have been decreasing the time I spend with you and I find that mentally and physically, I feel better. I have been hiding in my apartment for a day, not wanting to show my face, wishing that someone could connect with me on my level. I may have saved a life, but we will never know.

Good thing I wanted fish stick, because, as I was preheating the over, I found a paper napkin inside. Who does things like that? Anyway, what would have happened if I had not been there to catch it?

Just a few days ago, I found a bunch of rags and paper towels and a bottle of transmission fluid under the hood of the truck….did I save a life or just the truck from an expensive repair bill? We will never know.

As I was typing my Bible study, at my parents’ house, my brother and his family was over, then my brother tells my mother that someone had an accident in the bathroom.

Not something you want your mother to clean up right and the security technician was there installing more cameras, so I felt the need to clean the thick mess up in the guest bathroom, as not to embarrass the family. I am not like my siblings, I care about appearances, I am square, you always want to put your best face forward.

However, they are different; they let it all hang out. I did not make the mess, but you know, as a man, it is your job to take care of the house. Anyway, I blew up at a guy yesterday, who was teasing me because my hair got messy in the wind.

I told him about himself, I am sick of you people talking about me and my body and my hair, back off. Get a life. So I did not even go outside today because people are so annoying, or they are busy.

However, I did get my two hours of church in. The pastor says to have faith, but I am kind of scared. Living alone, and being single and not being rich can worry a guy, what is to come of my future?

I am not even really looking for anyone, I want a friend, but like I said, my life is not normal. Maybe I can just pretend it is and go out and have a little fun and see what happens. I look at people a lot differently now. I do not want them talking over my food.

And everyone loves a nice butt, but after seeing that mess in the bathroom, I am so disgusted. I had to put a towel over my face just to clean the restroom without throwing up. Now I am sitting here thinking about my hair, I am tired of all of the fuss over it, I want to cut it off.

Then, as I am sitting here typing, I wonder…why do perfectly normal people waste so many hours of their lives on  social media? You guys have family, friends, children, social clubs, and spouses. So why spend countless hours of your day typing to people you may never see? Why not enjoy the people in your life?

What if one day you wake up and have no one, but social media and the news, what kind of life would that be?  Another thing that is on my mind is fried  chicken, I just cannot see to do it right.