Personal emotional difficulties, such as anxiety or depression, are often related to difficult stresses of a current situation, or they may have stem from unresolved past events. Whatever the source, emotional states have a strong impact on sexuality. The essential conditions for a mutually enjoyable sexual interaction—legal age, consent, equality, respect, trust, and safety—are absent in sexual abuse. Boys and girls, who are sexually abused, experience sexual behavior and stimulation that are overwhelming for their level of physical and social development.

Joseph Lyle Menendez (born 10 January 1968) and Erik Galen Menendez (born 27 November 1970) are brothers who grew up in Princeton, New Jersey. The parents of Lyle and Erik where Jose Menendez, who was a corporate executive for The Hertz Corporation, and an immigrant from Cuba, and their mother was Kitty Menendez, a school teacher, who quit her job to manage her home and family fulltime. After their father got the CEO position of LIVE Entertainment, the family moved to Beverly Hills, California, where the boys spent their adolescence.

However, the boys, Lyle and Erik, were robbed of the opportunity to explore and develop their sexuality at their own age appropriate pace. The family was very wealthy and Jose Menendez, the father used to buy the boys gifts and be really nice to them and buy them food and let them eat candy, and them he would tell Erik and Lyle to keep a secret, and Jose started off by touching the boys and telling them it was a game and to keep it a secret. So they let him, but were apprehensive.

Later on, the father, Jose Menendez got more physical with the boys, he would make them have anal sex with each other and himself. The boys experienced depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem and poor grades. In addition, people who are sexually abused by their father are often suicidal, and commonly report never experiencing an orgasm. The boys sued to have flashbacks, sudden images of the smells, sounds, sights, feelings and sexual acts. It was a traumatic experience.

Cold and nakedness are evils introduced by luxury and custom. On August 20, 1989, Lyle and Erik were 21 and 18 years old, respectively. Lyle and Erik’s parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez, were found shot to death in their Beverly Hills home, at 722 North Elm Drive. Lyle had been the one to call 911 to report the murders. After the death of their parents, the Menendez brothers did not act like children in mourning, however. They soon started spending some of the family’s fortune. They probably feel good to be out of the prison of sexual abuse their father had created.

The brutal family killings had gripped the nation. Erik Menendez confessed to the killings to his therapist, and Lyle later met with Erik and the therapist to discuss the situation. Lyle reportedly threatened to kill the therapist if he even told anyone what the brothers did. Erik’s therapist did break patient/doctor confidentially by telling a friend what happened, and that friend later alerted authorities.

The Menendez brothers, Lyle and Erik, were eventually arrested in 1990 for the killings of their parents. They claimed that they had survived years of psychological and sexual abuse. In July 1993, Lyle and Erik were tried by different juries, each claiming self-defense for the murders.  In March 1996, Lyle and Erik were both found guilty of first-degree murder. They avoided the death penalty, and were both sentenced to life in prison without parole.

I really feel sad for the boys because Erik and Lyle Menendez are the victims. Often times, the authorities find out about these cases of abuse, but does nothing to help the victims because of who the potential defendant is. In retrospect, these young men have talked about how the incest experiences still govern and pattern their sexuality.  The men have reported a diminished sexual appetite, with little curiosity or interest. Erik and Lyle found it difficult to anticipate, enjoy, express, and receive love in a sexual or physical form. And that a wall of avoidance, fear, and dread is what they face when presented with sexual situation.

Now that they have been in prison for 20 years, Erik and Lyle turned their lives over to God and lead prayer groups. They feel bad about what they did to defend themselves. So many people are hung up on what the Menendez brothers did, but no one takes into account that they were abused, sexually, and held prison, as children, by their father., and the effects of sexual assault can be long-lasting; 60 percent of rape victims had sexual problems for more than three years after the assault—unresolved resentments, a lack of trust or respect, dislike of a partner, are just a few. Apprehension about intimacy or one who experiences intimacy as threatening may have considerable sexual difficulty.

Where our individual desire dies and sanctified surrender lives. We have the idea that we can dedicate our gifts to God. However, you cannot dedicate what is not yours. There is actually only one thing you can dedicate to God, and that is your right to yourself. If you will give God your right to yourself, He will make a holy experiment out of you—and His experiments always succeed. The one true mark of a saint of God is the inner creativity that flows from being totally surrendered to God. Do not let your hearts be troubled, trust in God.