The historian of human life finds less of difficulty and of intricacy to develop, in its accidents and adventures, than the investigator of the human heart in its feelings and its changes. As an individual gains more experience with life, one begins to develop an image of what one wishes to be (or think he or she should be): one’s ideal self.

Part of the ideal self is made up of cultural values. Most of us share our culture’s emphasis on the worth of truthfulness, honesty, and loyalty, so we would expect our ideal selves to have these characteristics.  There must be something in my character that conforms to the likeness of God. Another input comes from our need to gain parental approval, live up to what our parents want us to be.

Sometimes an ideal self can be terribly demanding and unrealistic. Such an image can be reinforced by a child’s parents, who have equally heavy ideal images.  If one falls short, a person with a demanding ideal self-image may feel he or she is a failure, a disappointment, and a bad human being.

However, we must never measure our spiritual capacity on the basis of our education or our intellect; our capacity, in spiritual things, is measured on the basis of the promises of God. Never allow the limitation of your own natural ability to enter into the matter. If we have received the Holy Spirt, God expects the World of the Divine Life-force to be exhibited in us.

Cultural ideas also form part of the ideal self in each of our heads. Confusingly, our culture seems to advocate two ideals—one loving and sharing and the other tough and competitive. The first is reflected in such biblical advice as “Love the neighbor as thyself,” and “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” The message is share what you have, develop a conscious concern for your fellow man, and be cooperative with others.

The Lord God is a Sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk up right. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who eases us in all our affliction so that we will be able to relief those who are in any disorder with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Never forget that our capacity and capability in spiritual matters is measure by, and based on, the promises of God. However, at the same time, we are taught, by society, another ideal designed to help us survive in the economic World. Among the slogans here are, “Competition adds zest to life!” and “People who make it are good; those who are poor must be lazy, bad, and evil!”

A young person may argue that to achieve the economic ideal of having a high paying job, accumulating wealth, striving to get ahead, one may have to abandon ( or at least not pay much attention to) the love-cooperation-sharing model. One may have a valid point.

However, beware of thinking that the areas of your life where you have experienced victory in the past are now the least likely to cause you to stumble and fall. It is in the aftermath of a great spiritual event that the least likely things begin to have an effect. They may not be forceful and dominant, but they are there.

And if you are not careful to be forewarned, they will trip you. Failure in a success-oriented culture is hard to take. We are failing and our children are failing in our schools at an alarming rate. Even children who achieve enviable grades are failing to learn much of what we hope to teach them: abstraction, curiosity, and, most of all, appreciation.

The Holy Spirit revealed to me that God and other people love me not because I am loveable, but because it was their nature to do so. Now, God is commanding me to do the same to others. Dealing with what goes on in my life takes a toll on everyone who knows me, so God is also telling me that I have to tolerate others, who stress me out, and also show them the same love that is shown to me.

God is saying, “I will bring a number of people around you whom you cannot respect, but you must exhibit My love to them, just as I have exhibited it to you.” This kind of love is not a patronizing love for the unlovable—it is God’s love, and it will not be evidenced in us overnight.

To love people you do not like or who get on your nerves is not easy, but just put yourself in their shoes and try to understand who you would feel if you were the reject, trying to gain favor with those who are popular and established. Just because people may not look or dress like you, or they may be richer, it does not mean you have to reject them.

People different from you  are human, too, and have a heart. They are fragile and also need to reach out and be loved. So be kind, let the God in your shine and respect others, until you can least to accept them. The right thing to do with godly habits is to immerse them in your life, until they become such a spontaneous expression of our lives that we are no longer aware of them.

In large part, your evaluation of your own self-worth is dependent on how close you come to your ideal self. It you are meeting that image, you will experience high self-esteem—that is, you will feel good about yourself. If you fail, you will not.

If an individual consistently fails to reach one’s ideal goals, one may have to reevaluate the image and decide whether it is unrealistic. Then allow God to work through whatever that particular circumstance may be until you increase Godly qualities in your life.

Always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and people. I have to make an effort to keep my conscience so sensitive that I can live without any offense toward anyone.