All relationships are unique. There is nothing innocent, or good, that dies, and is forgotten. Much like death, moving can be traumatic to a young child. I have stood aside to see the phantoms of those days go by me. They are gone, and I resume the journey of my story. Memory, however sad, is the best and purest link between this World and a better. Sometimes when you uproot and move children, they are unable to form new attachments because they cannot deal effectively with emotions and are attached to the relationships that they lost, and this is a common phenomenon with children. When you try to replace a person, this creates a model that becomes the unfortunate habit for dealing with that loss and future relationships. It is crucial that you try to understand what your child is feeling and what they are going through because they are highly emotional.

Each person is different and unique, much like a rose, no two will ever be exactly the same. The idea that we can mitigate the inevitable pain of loss by attempting to replace the loss of a person sets up tremendous conflict with the child. First of all, it dismisses the importance of the relationship between the child and their friend. Secondly, this deception introduces the idea of disposability about valued relationships that the child has with the lost friend. No two people can have identical relationships with anyone or anything—we bring our individuality into every relationship. Even people who are blessed with twins see differences between their children. Just because people resemble each other, does not mean they have the same attributes or qualities. A parent knows which are bold, shy; crave more attention, and which ones are loners.

When you pay attention to the uniqueness of a person, you will recognize that the exclusivity of the relationship is irreplaceable. The new friend or relationship will never be exactly the same because the individual is new and different than the last one. So the notion of replacing the loss is a very dangerous concept because it translates into substituting the new relationship, for the former one, which is impossible. What is conceivable is to have a new and unique relationship with a different individual. However, before you move on, one must complete the emotional relationship with the object that or person that has moved on. Failure to complete past relationships can make one feel participation in a new relationship is too difficult or impossible.

One may recreate a person or experience because they have not been shown how to complete the prior relationship. The memory has as many moods as the temper, and shifts its scenery like a diorama. It is unfair to the new friend, which is simply being itself, and is being pressed to be like the original. Also, remember, people have different personalities, and trying to make it be the same as the former individual puts one in conflict with its own unique and individual nature. You do not have the knowledge, authority or permission to deal with the consequences. What you often end up with is an angry recipient and bewildered presenter.

All because our society keeps trying to convince us that we do not feel bad about losing a friend or possession, and that negative emotions are bad; the social order wants you to believe that we can replace the loss, and this will make one feel better. However, you need to feel and release the pain. Children do not need to be fixed, but they do need to be heard. Feelings of loss are normal and natural; there is nothing that needed fixing, just affirming. When their heart is broken, or they are hurt, children need to be able to feel bad—do not try to fix them with replacement.

As a parent, it is your task to help raise your children so that they can be constructive members of society. You also need to transmit your cultural values to your children so they succeed in life. Often children require the care and training of their parents, for a relatively long period of time, before they are able to survive on their own; you attack and bring your own children down, and society will do the same to them, creating a cycle that they cannot escape from. When this happens, some turn to religion because everywhere they go for help, no one will help them. And then you have other cultures, in America who do not believe in God, and try to criminalize religion. Do not hurt the Lord. Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, World?

It is highly probable that we are hurting Jesus by what we ask. Lord, show us the Father. We look for God to exhibit Himself to his children, but God only exhibits Himself in His children. I have to get to the point of the absolute and unquestionable relationship that takes everything exactly as it comes from Him. God never guides us at some time in the future, but always here and now, and the freedom you receive is immediate. Lord Jesus, I know I am not perfect and ask you to forgive me of my ungodly ways and prepare for me a new heart. I surrender my life to you. The unfaithful cannot tolerate anything that originated from God’s creation. In the current political environment, there is no effective leadership in the World. Every nation lacks strong and competent leaders, able to deal with issues at home or internationally.

The United States of America is starting to be viewed in the same light as Mexico—poverty, corruption and murder, and Americans are losing their influence with other nations because political leaders, in the United States of America, have no moral center to direct their decision making process. However, a man will arise, who will achieve victory (Rev 13.7). To maintain friendships and faithfulness, we have to be more careful and make sure we have the moral and vital relationships, to God, above everything else, including obedience. People come nearest unto God, who show mercy and compassion.